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Introduction Text Kids are doing great. I was loving my job, but, am facing another layoff. No idea how I'll afford insurance and rent on unemployment... or the upcoming court shenanigans my ex-husband (FINALLY) is dragging me back for. In spring of 2018, I came out of remission with Myasthenia Gravis and have also presented with Lupus, so regular exercise isn't on my radar anymore. Even with good treatment, I am worn out doing basic housework. But, on good days, I will go for a run. It feels SO GOOD, but, I can only go about 15 or 20 minutes before my symptoms return, when I used to run for an hour each day.

To slim down. My health has been good, but, I'd like to keep it that way, and be smaller. I've recently become a consultant in my field, and feel more pressure to look 'put together' to reassure our clients that their work is in competent hands. I also want to be strong! My ex husband always discouraged me from building strength because it would supposedly make me less feminine (which, in retrospect, says more about him than me). Luckily, I know some engineers and designers who are crossfit buffs who showed me there's nothing unattractive about being strong, and I am channeling that!

Instead of eating/drinking my feelings, I now blog here or email/message friends who tell me when I'm being stupid or remind me when something is not normal. Running short intervals and counting calories like an obsessive-compulsive hawk. ... realizing 2 years into this that building strength will help my metabolism. Starting to work in bodyweight exercises, too. (first off, pushups!) You can't outrun a bad diet! Weight loss is made in the kitchen, not the gym! Progress, not perfection! Habit, not motivation! 2017/07 Edit: I'm now running much longer intervals on the treadmill! I should've pushed myself sooner, I'm really surprised I can do what I am doing without strain. I typically back off to a brisk walk due to my heart rate, not my muscles or lungs being strained. Trying to work on balance, flexibility and upper body now that my legs are solid muscle (covered in loose skin and fluff). I have been doing incline pushups an

Lost around 65lbs after the birth of my first child in my early 20's without too much trouble. Didn't stop my ex from cheating on me and spending all my money, though. Put on 118lbs after getting married and coping poorly with his unhealthy issues and nasty temper. Exercised like mad as a form of stress relief in my last job with crazy commute and toxic environment and anxiety rooted in my controlling relationship, but, it didn't help with weight loss. Finally took control of my diet after losing my StepDad to cancer and realizing I'd been sleep-walking through life, feeling helpless about everything and allowing my spouse to abuse me mentally, emotionally and financially. Not helpless anymore. I got this. I'll hit 40 in better condition than I hit 30 or even 20.



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