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If I'm not who I think I am, then who am I?

Friday, March 26, 2010

What if the Universe told you that you couldn't have anymore of anything... No more friends, no more money, no more anything, until you first got happy with what you have?

WHOA!! HEAVY!! And THAT'S what I need to do! Get Happy!!

I've been really struggling with my brain these past few weeks, and thus the reason for not getting too involved in posting. And this time it's NOT the food.

I'm at the "tail-end" of the Baby Boomers but still have the mindset that "when you get older, you're gonna get married, have 2.5 kids, a cat and a dog, a house with a two car garage and a white picket fence. Well, that didn't happen. I never expected to be where I am right now - struggling financially, struggling emotionally, just plain struggling. And I know I'm not alone. This downward spiral of the economy is affecting EVERYONE. But for some reason, I am so down and out that I've gotten so verbal with my emotions that it's affecting my only source of income - real estate.

I need to take a break, a break from all of my stresses and emotions and truly figure out what is going to make me happy. Even my manager has "kicked me out of the office." It ain't easy!!

For the two main teams I'm on, please don't think I'm too busy to post. I'm not. I'm just so emotional lately that I really need to take care of me. I've been taking care of my husband (only because he's a big baby), my friends, my dogs, my house, my yard, but I haven't taken care of me. Not sure if anyone else goes through this emotional period right around your birthday. This happens to me every year, but for some reason this is a tougher year!

I am still exercising, I am still on the plan, - see - I'm taking care of me. But the rest of me has to take care of this depression and really start working on who I am.

Thank you all for understanding. GET HAPPY!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I thought it was just me who had funny turns every year near my birthday. Maybe it is our way of taking stock and not always liking what we see
    It is particularly hard in this economic climate, hang in there and just for a change PUT YOURSELF FIRST for a while

    4030 days ago
    Me too, Nettie. I never thought that at my advanced age (ACK!) I'd be struggling with no job, no money, no retirement, no husband or SO, rotten relationships with my kids, etc. Some days the cat is the only joy in my life, & she's getting old so I worry that I won't have her too much longer.

    We just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and trudging along. Can you find a support group, or a group of ladies that get together & support each other through the thick & thin -- kind of like SP but in person? Sometimes that really helps!

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    4031 days ago
  • HOUK46
    Annette, please know that you are not alone. So please take the time to find what is going to make you happy and know we are here for you if you need us. Lots of what you said sounds so familiar to me, but I figured out a way to make sure I take care of myself. So hang in there, I know you will also find the way of taking care of yourself and finding what is going to make you Annette a happy person. Remember we are always here for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    emoticon Be Happy :)
    4031 days ago
    Annette -
    We're here, we understand and we've all been there. I hope things look better for you in a few days. Life can be very challenges and sometimes our little brains go on a "spin" cycle to sort everything out. Find your "special place" and spend some quality time with yourself. If you need to talk to anyone, I'm here. A BIG hug is sent your way!

    Tanya emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4032 days ago
  • BKP4166
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    4033 days ago
  • DEBANNE1124
    Nettie! I have a lot of respect for you. hang in there, friend. Look at the crap you've been through lately. Your foot surgery for one thing is enough to do you in. Try to relax. Not take things so seriously.. As for your eating and diabetetic numbers... Make your meals somethign that youc an enjoy and really be excited about.I think you're worried also aobut the Endo's reaction to your numbers. You need a vacation, too.

    robert and I are both PO'd at the health care reform and how that is turning out. I am counting the days till Obana leaves office. So amny people are losing their jobs because of tax reform, etc. It is neverending.

    Know that I love you and I'm here for you.
    4034 days ago
    Hang in there. I can empathize with what you are going through. It is tough liking yourself when you are down (and mean and snarly)....but I think that is key. Accept that you are you and that every day you are worth a lot. Then. Only then will you be able to move along more smoothly on this journey. Note I didn't say, then, you will be happy. I think the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness gets us in trouble. We can't be happy all the time, but to pursue life and to live it requires some self love. I had a tough time with that one. Getting better, but still.

    We are here for you.
    4034 days ago
    Nettie, I really hope you get out of the blues soon. We all go thru it, and those of us with the "extra" to have to deal with too....we can't even attack the comfort foods because then we'll feel even worse. Take time for YOU. Not DH, not the dogs, not your boss, nobody. The team will survive for a day or two if you don't feel like coming in. I think we all understand, and have those days too. I've found one of my best stress removers is to slip in the side door of our church during the day, when nobody else is there, and just sit in the absolute silence for a while. Sometimes I pray, others I just sit and think. But my load seems lighter when I leave. Find your "quiet place", and spend some time there. I hope and pray you get to feeling more like the Annette we all love and care about. Hugs..... Joy
    4034 days ago
    Your story sounds similar to mine, Annette, sans the diabetes, thank God. I found a truly inspirational blog here at SP that may help you pull out of the unhappy doldrums~ it is Butterflysongs. Checkout her site~ I subscribe daily and always come away with a smile. *hugs* All the best, Bonnie
    4034 days ago
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