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Friday, November 05, 2010

Since it has been a looong time since my last blog, I happened to think of one thing that some might have experienced (I don't think it has to do with weight or fitness).

I'm divorced and have (just for kicks) subscribed to dating sites mainly to make friends. I am NOT looking for marriage but I wanted to meet some male friends. I have said this to anyone I have corresponded with...no surprises. I've met a few and the ones I've met have wanted to speed date, attempting to quickly develop it into a REAL thing. Others have run for the hills when they heard I only wanted friendship. Why can't women have MEN friends?

After reading this, I'm almost chicken to post it. But, what the heck....why not?
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  • no profile photo CD10677745
    Saw the title of your blog on my friend feed and since Men is one of my favorite subjects I thought I would chime in. I never did online dating but those men are looking for more than a friend. At least a friend with benefits if you know what I mean. A good way to find platonic male friends is to join a group with the same interests you have. There is a national organization called meetup.com. You plug in your city and interests and join a group to attend.

    I belong to a hiking group. I now have a couple of male friends who I am not romantically interested in or vice versa. We have hiked together outside the group and enjoy talking to each other and even about the men or women in our life.

    There is also social eating out meetups of dancing meetups. If you join one you can find friends.
    3493 days ago
    That was one of the hardest things I had to learn when I was much younger. I was friends with my brother, we all hung out together. I was used to male friendship. As a young adult, when I attempted friendship with men, they either fled thinking I was hitting on them, or got mad at me for not wanting a romantic relationship. When I got married, I was friends with my husband's male friends, but when we got divorced, it turned out they weren't really my friends after all. It is sad that our culture is built this way.

    Since most dating sites are for people who are looking for a relationship of a romantic nature, those may not be the best place to look for male companionship. I am wondering about developing friendships in other venues: book club, community theater, sailing club, bowling.... it depends where YOUR interests lie.

    3493 days ago
  • REBECCA431
    Nice to see you back Bonnie. Have you ever tried that singles thing in Nashville? They plan adventures(trail riding, walks/hikes, etc.) NOT a dating thing but a singles only adventure and they seem to be pretty active. I've seen several of their things on active.com. emoticon Some guys are always looking for something more so don't get discouraged.
    3514 days ago
    Bonny if I am ever in good old Tennessee we'll paint the Town Red and still be buddies forever. Your the best. xxx ooo Terry
    3791 days ago
    Keep trying- I'm sure there are some lovely men out there looking for companionship and someone to do things with!
    3791 days ago
    Hang in there. Some of my best friends have been male, and I have loved it. One good friend I ended up marrying. I think I was waiting for him. Ha! Ha! Our kids hooked us up after he was separated for two years. It is not fun out there. Sometimes though it is less complicated without a man in your life. If anything ever happeded to my husband, I think I would just want a "friend".
    3806 days ago
    Good luck Bonnie, Friendship can turn into something special. emoticon emoticon
    3808 days ago
    I'm glad to see you blogging here again. Welcome back!
    3808 days ago
  • KELLEY106
    I liked the ad that that put my husband and I together.
    "Alone, unattached, tired of the bar scene" The name of the dating service was TOGETHER. I had a few dates, some good, some not so good. Then I met John. Not my normal type. I like the big Teddy Bear Type. He was thin and average height. He worked
    5 days a week 8-5. I ran a hotel and worked 6 or 7 days a week 12-14 hour days. the more we talked to each other the more we had in common. That was in 1982. We lived together for over 20 years and married 5 years ago,
    Hang in there. There is a guy for you out there. Friendship is good.
    3809 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/6/2010 11:57:35 AM
    I'm sorry Bonny but I think the route is a good one. Better than the bar by bar. I'm one of those success stories. Met DH online by accident. When I divorced I never felt I'd marry again. Anyway, we dated a good long time before we even thought about the next step. Anyway, just keep at it. You might find a good friend yet and besides, a girl has got to eat. LOL (I am so bad).
    3809 days ago
    Don't know. It might be that if they are looking for something a little closer than a friendship. Might be they either want a relationship or their girlfriends don't want them to have friends.

    Tried several other responses. I guess it is too sticky a subject and too complicated. No desire to marry again. Not needing male companionship again but it would be nice sometimes to have a friend to do things with.

    You could hire one but that seems too tawdry.
    3809 days ago
  • DAS92687
    Probably the same reason you don't meet and develop real good girlfriend relationships on Facebook.

    My personal opinion is, you're more likely to develop a good friendship when you share something in common ... and not just subscribing to the same website. Maybe volunteering, at a class, as a member of a club, etc.

    3809 days ago
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