Sunday, November 28, 2010
Today has not been the greatest day and I am sorry how I have felt for most of the day. We woke up to no electric this morning so that started everything off on the wrong foot. We were supposed to be meeting friends for breakfast at 9 and no way to get a shower, yada, yada, yada, you get the drift! Luckily the power came back on about 8:10 so it was a quick get ready and out the door by 8:30 and over to check on dad where we encountered the 2nd problem of the day. I was trying to get him taken care of when he tells me his electric heater isn't working and he thought it blew a fuse. He lives in an old single wide mobile home so this is a problem. I went to check on things and couldn't find anything wrong so got hubby to let him see if he could find anything wrong and he couldn't either. Finally told dad we were running late and had to go but since he had power to everything else, we would work on it when we got back.
We, of course, were late in arriving and I hate to be late. However, we enjoyed about 3 hours with our friends before heading back to see what we could do. I had bought more fuses while we were out but nothing seemed to help the problem. I should have known that dad could not be satisfied while we were gone. Oh no, he had been up trying to find the problem himself-mind you he is 99 and has trouble lifting his right arm-has to help it up! He had dug thru his tools and been trying to check things out which in his prime would have been fine-he was quite handy and knows a lot about things and had totally remodeled an old house back in the 60's so once upon a time he could have done this, but not now. He was complaining about how his side hurt and I totally lost it. Told him it was his fault for doing all he did and not waiting for us. Then we went in to check on things and he came in to tell us what to do and I lost it a 2nd time and told him if he wanted to do it, we would just go home!!! Well, I guess that got to him because he went and sat down in his chair and shut up. I know I should not have gotten upset, but he doesn't think we should have any kind of life and be at his beck and call 24/7. We can't go anywhere for any length of time because of him and sometimes it gets to me. I have 3 brothers who are never here to help. He is rude to my husband who treats him better than his sons so today was my breaking point. I regret getting angry with him but it seems sometimes that is the only way to get thru as he is like a child in some ways but very smart and with it unlike many his age.
Our friend, who is a retired electrician, came over to try to see if he could figure out the problem, but he too had a prior committment so could only stay about 30 min and tomorrow he is busy but says he will come on Tuesday to see if he can figure it out. Hopefully dad will leave things alone till he can come. I have gotten his tv, satellite dish and dvr hooked up to another outlet so he can watch tv and he can get by without the electric heater as it is warm right now and otherwise we can turn up the furnace.
I am sure there are many others out there who are dealing with elderly family members and feeling like they are not appreciated too but some days it feels really lonely and like we are the only ones with this problem. I wish my brothers would offer more help but realize that isn't going to happen. Two live about 1200 miles away and the other who lives 2 hrs away travels a lot for his job but he is the only one who ever offers to help me. The 2 who live away come to visit and expect me to cater to them too instead of saying can we help around here!
Ok, now I have vented, I feel better and as my title says, I am sorry for getting mad at Dad and tomorrow I will apologize but for today, it felt good at that moment when I scolded him.