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SEDONACAT
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Trying to keep busy

Thursday, December 09, 2010

My "baby" sister is currently battling cancer with a really grim prognosis. It's the first thing I thing of when I get up, and in fact, I find myself dwelling on it in the middle of the night. 3 AM seems to be my witching hour so naturally I am craving carbs and my cortisol levels are probably in the trees. Being a Type A person, it is difficult for me to not be able to control her cancer-just zap it and make it go away. As a nurse, I see the worst in this situation and am a real "downer" to the rest of the family who maintain hope. I have to bite my tongue a lot.
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  • SEDONACAT
    Again, thank all of you so much for your thoughts and prayers. There are just too many families affected by this horrible disease and at younger ages, too. I still blame myself for my breast cancer because I'd been on estrogen patches for 10 years. "No one in my family gets cancer" so I gambled. Never say never. Until my sister and me, it's been heart disease and strokes.
    I've been cancer-free for 2 yr.
    Bless you all!

    emoticon
    3782 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/10/2010 2:18:14 PM
  • READINGDOC
    I'm so sorry that you are going through this with your sister. I do understand your pain. I lost my sister to cancer, and now it looks like I'm going to lose my husband to it. I heard someone somewhere say that they wished that cancer would just get cancer and die.

    You are in my prayers.

    Lynda
    emoticon
    3782 days ago
  • CT-FL-SNOWBIRD
    I'm sorry to hear about your "baby" sister's battle with cancer. I've lost 3 siblings to cancer. The last one was my older sister, who was like a mother to me, who passed away 5 years ago, from pancreatic cancer. Then when my DIL's mother was diagnosed with it, in the summer of 2008, her husband and kids "knew" that she could lick this thing, but I knew better. I just kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to take away their hope.

    You and your sister are in my prayers. emoticon
    3782 days ago
  • SOLUCKY12
    My niece, who was like my sister, died from breast cancer 3 years ago, and it still hurts. The only thing I can say that might help is to find some things that you could do for her that doesn't have to do with the cancer. You probably already have, but maybe you could focus more on those. My last visit with my niece, we went through all of her family photos, and she had 6 kids. I separated them all into little baggies with their names on them, as they had many duplicates. Later on I made a scrapbook of her life with the photos I had saved to use. Some came from her husband putting photos out on those sites where people can see them uploaded. He spent time doing that when he couldn't do anything else for her. I remember when we would buy her latest requests for something she thought might taste good, and she would just eat a bite. I was fortunate to be with her on the last weekend that she had a few good days. She still met with her counseling group that was in the hospital where she worked as a counselor for others on dealing with breast cancer. Now 3 years later, her family went through those photo packets after one child graduated from college. It was the anniversary of her birthday, so we all were touched by Elizabeth Edward's death. I want to read Resilience, just not sure if I'm up to it yet. I happened to see her show on Nate Berkus, where she had started her Red Window furniture store. She kept hope until the last week, and then she went so fast, unlike my niece. Holidays are really tough and we haven't lived in the same town for years, but I remember all of the ones we shared. I know there are some idea books out there for caretakers, which might add to ideas you already have. All cancer survivors and loved ones of friends and family that didn't make it, are all a community, and we all understand. Prayers and turning to God for comfort have helped me. Bless you and your "baby" sis! emoticon
    3782 days ago
  • GAILRUU
    I am a nurse too. I remember how I felt when my "baby sister" called me to tell me she had pancreatic cancer. I went out to our little camper where I could be alone and cried. She lived two and a half years after her diagnosis and I miss her every day. She was a wonderful woman with an infectious laugh and a brave heart.
    3782 days ago
  • LAURITA.
    I understand how you feel. This week has brought me news of one of my former "chemo team" mates who has just joined the "stage IV" club with mets to her ribs. She's been in the battle almost non-stop for 3 years, now. Also this week, a team mate at work whose sister just completed tx earlier this year was diagnosed as stage IV with mets to the lungs and just started a new round of chemo. It is so frustrating to feel helpless. All you can do is love, support, encourage, and help in any way possible. And unfortunately sometimes that means not discussing the grim realities because the one thing that keeps us going is HOPE.

    I never understood, before I had breast cancer, how useful DENIAL can be as a coping tool. I have learned that. We are all so different - whatever gets you through your day is OK by me.

    Feel free to come here any time and talk/vent about the grim - many of us understand how you feel.

    I hope you and your family can find strength somehow through this. It is not easy.

    emoticon

    F U B C
    3782 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/9/2010 2:50:59 PM
  • SILVERJUDI
    I'm sorry this is happening in your family. It's good to have someone be practical, during such an emotional upheaval. You are showing strength. I hope it stays with you.
    3783 days ago
  • SEDONACAT
    Thank you for the words. My head and my heart are doing a lot of arguing right now.
    3783 days ago
  • GATOR12
    SO SORRY YOUR SISTER HAS SUCH A STRUGGLE. I'M A NURSE TOO, AND I THINK WE ARE MADE THE WAY WE ARE FOR A REASON. AS MY SIS IN LAW LAY DYING, AND WAS MAKING PLANS FOR THE TIME AHEAD (UNREALISTICALLY) I WONDERED FINALLY IF THIS WAS HER WAY OF DENIAL. MY EYES COULDN'T DENY WHAT I WAS SEEING BUT I COULDN'T CONTINUE TO SAY THE HURTFUL, REALITY AS I SAW IT. AS NURSES WE WANT TO 'DO' SOMETHING & WHEN WE ARE UNABLE TO; WE STEW & GET FRUSTRATED. I KNOW THIS IS ALL THINGS YOU KNOW BUT MAYBE NEED TO HEAR FROM A PERSON AWAY FROM IT. HUGS & PRAYERS, BRENDA
    3783 days ago
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