Deep Breaths - Just Breathe
Monday, April 25, 2011
I like to think I am normally a positive and cheerful person, but this past week has really put me to the test. We were all set for DH's heart cath tomorrow and wham, we got a phone call, his kidney function is not where the cardiologist would like it to be so they have cancelled the heart cath. At that point, I was panicing as his pains have been getting more often and harder so I immediately asked, "Now what?" and the nurse didn't have any answers. However, she did say if they proceeded with this, there was the possiblity it could cause kidney failure and we certainly do not want that. So, now it is more waiting to see what the cardiologist and nephrologist decide can and cannot be done.
DH wasn't here when I got the call so I had time to ponder this news before he got back. I just wanted to sit down and cry but think I am about cried out. I had to give him this news and of course, he had another bad spell. The only advice the nurse gave me was to go to the hospital if it got too bad, but even that scares me now. What if something they do causes kidney failure. Oh my, oh my.
We decided we just needed to snuggle and take a nap and maybe things would look better when we got up. Of course, we didn't get a good nap as the phone rang several times but it did help. Just holding each other gives one comfort.
When we got up, I got on my laptop and opened the following message and it felt like it was written to us. I am sharing this message with my Spark friends in case any of you are dealing with difficult times too.
MEMO FROM GOD
Effective immediately, please be aware that there are changes you need to make in your life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill my promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life.
1. QUIT WORRYING
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?
2. PUT IT ON THE LIST
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to me. And although my to-do list is long, I am after all, God. I can take care of anything you put into my hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things that you never even realize.
3. TRUST ME
Once you've given your burdens to me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on my list. Problem with finances? Put it on my list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For my sake, put it on my list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.
4. LEAVE IT ALONE
Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with me and forget about them. Just let me do my job.
5. TALK TO ME
I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please don't forget to talk to me OFTEN! I love you. I want to hear your voice. I want you to include me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with me. I want to be your dearest friend.
6. HAVE FAITH
I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in me that I know what I'm doing. Trust me, you wouldn't want the view from my eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?
You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.
8. BE PATIENT
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes me a little longer than you expect to handle something on my to-do-list? Trust in my timing, for my timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.
9. BE KIND
Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for my sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please know I love each of your differences.
10. LOVE YOURSELF
As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only - to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes my heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget that!
With all my heart I love you,
"Look at Life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror."--Byrd Baggett
This is what I am planning to do since everything is out of our control anyhow, I publicly declare, Lord, please take this from us and help us thru this difficult time, please help the drs figure out something to help my DH, give me the strength to be strong for him.