when you label a person
Friday, September 16, 2016
A few weeks ago I posted a blog while I was still in shock after the news that my husband of 35 years didn't love me anymore and was divorcing me. The support I got from the SparkPeople community was uplifting and so appreciated. Thanks to all of you for your caring words.
I have been a preschool teacher for over 30 years. I have seen first hand what happens when a child is "labeled" with a suspected diagnosis or an actual medical diagnosis. Ever been labelled? Ever labelled someone yourself? Everyone’s done both, sometimes it’s benign, sometimes it’s a good thing and sometimes it’s a bad thing. It starts from an early age and continues through life – he’s a jock, he’s conscientious, she’s a troublemaker. Assigning labels to things seems to be part of how our brain makes sense of the world. But what happens to a person when you give them a particular label?
In my lifetime I have been labelled as clinically depressed. Yes a medical diagnosis but for many years I let it define me.While I sought out counseling and tried different medications (as well as many lifestyle changes) he became silently resentful because I was so "self absorbed". Recently it was suggested by a medical professional that I could be asexual. As I struggled to find a reason /solution for problems occurring in my marriage these labels became an issue for my soon to be ex husband. He couldn't get past them....they would forever define me to him.
I realize that it is his problem.....I was a good wife and mother for 35 years. I will move on and continue to grow and heal and prosper.
I will however be more aware of how labels affect the person who has been labelled and those who react to those labels.
Thanks again SparkPeople for a safe place to vent and a great place to find support and wisdom as I start a new journey.