Let me be honest here.....
Thursday, June 06, 2019
It's June and I've fallen off the wagon way to long & way too HARD. I've can't remember the last time my weight was staying past 208 until the last month or so. April 30th I weighed in @ 210. I haven't been back to weigh myself on the InBody machine since but my scale @ home is saying anywhere between 210-216!
WHAT!? I can feel it too. All my summer clothes (shorts mainly) are way tight. Which are sizes 16 & 18's. So I been resorting to wearing stretchy shorts or workout capris for my wardrobe.
See what happened was life. I was doing good. I really was. I was doing a Beachbody program Insanity Max 30 & drinking strictly water.
Then my world was flipped over & shook up. My significant other suffered from a stroke & went into the hospital March 4th. At first it was just his speech that was affected he was about 70%. Then that Saturday he took a turn for the worse. They think he might have had a second stroke that has left him unable to move his right side and his speech has been affected as well. He spent a total of 6 weeks in the hospital/in house rehab center. Where he originally was, was only 20 min from where I live. So I thought once the initial shock of this happening I would be able to get back into my routine. After they thought he had another they moved him to Kansas City. Which from my house to the hospital was 1 1/2 hrs. I was torn on how to keep taking care of myself, work, my 11 year old daughter and being there for him. He's the only child and his mom has had 3 strokes herself and wasn't mentally able to handle being there for him. So it basically was all left on my shoulders. Luckily my daughter had just finished with her basketball season (which he was coaching) so she had some down time. I had some wonderful friends & awesome parents who helped watch her. My work was understanding & luckily I had time built up to be able to take off to go down when needed. I spent my weekends there sleeping on a cot. So that meant putting myself on the backburner. I tried to be conscious about what I was eating & started walking some but then just sort of tapered off once he got home. Now I rush home to make sure either I make something for dinner or his mom is making something. I used to workout right after work here in my office b/c it was easier. Now that I rush off I tend to just want to stay home & not get a workout in.
I know I need to restart I know I need to start exercising again, I know all these things I need to do, but can't seem to find that motivation. Where is that "easy" button when ya need it?!