What can I do
Saturday, December 21, 2019
I just read a blog by Indygirl who lost a lot of weight and has been successful on her journey. That was encouraging for me because so many people who are morbidly obese like me - start out guns ablazing, we will lose the weight and do all the things we need to for days or a few weeks then life sets in. By life I mean struggles, conflict, challenges, pain - physical and emotional and so often our coping skills included food. I believe people call that comfort food and we all know what that means ...all those carbs! Bread, pasta, potatoes and all those sugary foods that help us forget our troubles while we chew and digest the item we currently crave. After enough time has past the guns ablazing approach's weight loss is diminished by just trying to cope. We begin eating foods that are not helping us keep the weight off or even maintain any longer. Soon we are back to the weight we started and are even gaining weight...well then all is lost. Forget this...I am a failure and go eat some more carbs to try and get over this last failed attempt to get healthy. No one wants to be a failure so I just stop trying.
I have been through this scenario more times then I care to admit. I have tried numerous approaches and I generally have success at first but then life happens and I am on the yoyo gaining and losing the same few pounds again and again. My doctors want me to have weight loss surgery before I die from this excess weight but that approach will get me started but I still need to lose weight on my own eventually. Then after I have surgery and fail...then what?
So when I read the blog about all the things that people can't do and how we need to turn things around to what we can do. I need to think of those things. I have a long list of things I can not do from sitting comfortably in a airplane seat, sitting on a regular lawn chair, walking a mile without stopping, going up a flight of stairs without being winded, trouble getting my shoes on, etc. etc. you get the picture.
Well I purchased an exercise bike the last time I was gung ho on losing weight, it was difficult finding one that could hold my excess weight and not collapse on me. My husband was opposed because he knew I had one before we were married that became an expensive clothes rack and I gave it away, rather than move it to our home. Well I went and purchased one but discovered I had trouble lifting my feet up to put them on the pedals. I admitted this to my husband one night and he graciously offered his help to put my feet on the pedals so I could exercise. He wants to retire with me and travel in an RV and see our great country. That dream will not happen at my current weight, no RV step or RV furniture will hold my 400+ lbs. How demoralizing to need my husband to help me put my feet on the pedals so I can exercise...what have I done to myself? I have always been overweight but I was strong as an ox, I could walk fast, shovel horse manure, lift bales of hay to the top of my car as I drove it to feed horses, loadbags of grain. I could even move those big round hay bales by myself when I had to. Well I am a few years older, the strain of the excess weight on my body, my arthritic bone on bone knees, lymphedema, excess fluid on my heart have caused some major health problems. Sometimes I use a cane my husband bought for me to help me get from point A to point B, it was a thoughtful and necessary gift.
Well here I am with the name of this blog...What can I do...Well I just started up a Winter challenge on Dec 4th and today I got a Spark trophy for 250 min of exercise in December. Today I realized that when I rode my exercise bike I no longer struggled to put my feet on the pedals. I could lift them all by myself. Now it may not be much to some people but I will take every win I can get and I will need a lot of wins to get where I want to be. I need to think of things in terms of what can I do and stay positive. I need to carry one positive accomplishment to the next one. Spark people is a great environment where people are supportive and rejoice in your successes...please stay tuned for more of what I can do as I continue on my journey!