Wednesday, July 08, 2020
I'm on a new med. I recieved thru the mail all.the ones I was low and out of. I got a referral thru my new Dr for an abdominal specialist to check my hernia now the size of a baseball.
Okay with that all out of the way I almost took myself off of 2 teams tonight. One I've been on for a few weeks, the other just starting. I recieved everyday a quote from another Spark member that even after I dropped from that team earlier this year, still sends encouraging messages. The one for today was " not giving up".
I've been at sp for a few years . Lost a few lbs. regained and more. I thought I wasn't good enough, couldn't do like I read about others here who won their battles with weight and food. I doubt myself almost everyday. But, I keep coming back day after day for the help and support from both the staff of sp as well as other sp members.
I dont know if I really will ever loose the 100+ lbs I need to but I've got to continue to try.
My health has dramatically deteriorated this past year. Alot I cant control, but I can still fight for control once in for all of my weight. I sit here right before bedtime knowing I've left my health get to the tipping point . Drs have told me if I dont change know I wont be here in 3 to 5 yrs. That alone you would think would be enough to change. I've had several years of eating wrong, not exercising regularly to put me where I am now. I struggle most days in pain just to get thru the daily normal tasks. I think how the hell can I push harder to get where I need to be. I'm not a religious person. I do believe and pray though. To please see me thru all this. So, I guess I wont drop out of the teams, and try to take it one day at a time.