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Twice as Kind

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Monday, August 17, 2020

ca.yahoo.com/news/people
-color-learn-young-age-110
020465.html


This article really struck me this morning.

It's about racism in a time of pandemic.

It's about how BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Colour) experience systemic racism as the pressure to be "twice as good".

And it's about how white people can respond. By being twice as kind.

Yeah.

I'm white. In a multicultural society. And I can be alert to all the opportunities I encounter. To be twice as kind.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NANTUCKETLIFE
    Agreed. Thank you for posting
    121 days ago
  • CHERYLSCOTT54
    I miss my best friend; she died from lung cancer. Sheila Greco was race blind, she was more of a sister then mine actual family. I miss her so much.
    139 days ago
  • TOMATOCAFEGAL
    Thanks for your blog.
    155 days ago
  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
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    156 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4114015
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    158 days ago
  • SUSIEMT
    That was a wonderful article! It needed to be said. emoticon
    158 days ago
  • NASFKAB
    Thank you for your link so thought provoking. As a non white person it made me think that when in the US had a privileged life because my husband was a Diplomat
    158 days ago
  • SNOOPYLINKOS
    always be kind
    158 days ago
  • BESSHAILE
    It never hurts to be twice as kind. to anybody.
    158 days ago
  • DOVESEYES
    In my experience we all 'rate' people even family, not a good thing but a learned thing.

    We all can also make the choice to treat each other the best we can.

    So glad my daughter has this in her DNA, as a Doctor she loves the homeless man just as much as the older man or the sick man ... always has patients ringing her to say thanks for the kindness in her job. Her Hubby too :) they both go the extra mile and treat the patient as a person not just a number :) ... awesome !!
    159 days ago
  • TERMITEMOM
    Great read. emoticon
    159 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
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    159 days ago
  • NANCY-
    Today my front bumper kissed the rear bumper of a lovely gentleman. We were both kind. Race and gender was irrelevant as it should be.
    159 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    What a fantastic article!!!! Change has to begin with each one of us. We DON'T know what is going on in another's life. Kindness . . . . it's a balm!
    159 days ago
  • BKNOCK
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    159 days ago
  • OVERWORKEDJANET
    Interesting.
    I treat all people the same way, with respect (if earned) and kindness...always given. you never know what someone has been up against in their day.
    159 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    Absolutely! We can all try to be twice as kind. What a great idea!
    159 days ago
  • QUARTERMASTER3
    Excellent article, thank you.
    159 days ago
  • TOKIEMOON
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    159 days ago
  • SHERYE
    Interesting article and I also agree we all need to stop and be kinder to one another especially under these stressful times. emoticon
    159 days ago
  • NANNYC5
    It is always good to be kind, no matter what the circumstances. We are all God's children.
    159 days ago
  • DSHONEYC
    Yes...I will try to be kinder, and more considerate and most of all more understanding.
    159 days ago
  • NANASUEH
    We all can be kinder for whatever reason. We can be kinder simply because we share humanity.

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    159 days ago
  • KALIGIRL
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    159 days ago
  • RETAT60
    Excellent article. Thank you for sharing.
    159 days ago
  • PHEBESS
    LOVE this article!!! Thank you for posting and blogging about it!!!

    I had an odd experience in June - I had a "healthy woman" appointment at a medical center. Went in, had the chat with the med assistant, changed into the paper gown, etc. A young African woman came in, introduced herself as Hawa, and said she's a midwife. I was totally confused, because first, I'm 65 and NOT pregnant, and second, the name I had been given was Claire somebody. So I of course blurted out that I thought I was seeing Claire, and I'm not pregnant. Hawa laughed at that and said that midwives don't just deal with pregnancy, they work with women's health care from puberty onward. And she said she could get Claire if I preferred. It suddenly dawned on me that SHE might think that *I* had a problem with her due to color. I felt HORRIBLE thinking that she might have thought I didn't want her to examine me due to the color of her skin.

    So I laughed and very honestly said "no no, it was just the midwife thing that threw me, I'm on the other side of menopause so it just seemed odd to see a midwife! I wasn't expecting that, and it confused me." All of that being 100% true.

    As we chatted, it turned out she was from Ghana, I had been Peace Corps Liberia, she studied in Washington state, I'm from Washington state, she worked in St. Croix USVI, I worked in St. Thomas USVI - we had a fun visit laughing about our parallel paths that never met before.

    It was a lesson to me - and even though I've lived and worked in places where my white skin is the minority for almost 30 years, I still have to pay attention to my words and how they affect someone else. That an innocent comment like "I thought I had an appointment with X" can so easily seem like I'm rejecting someone due to their color. I still feel badly thinking about it, and I hope she truly understood that it was just me being confused by a different name and thinking that a midwife delivered babies and nothing else.

    So yeah, every little thing we people of European ancestry say can so easily be seen as something other than we meant. SO easily. Because the other person, if they've experienced racism due to their ethnicity, is much more attuned to racism than I am with my white privilege.

    Thinking of how my words can affect someone else? Yes! Thinking that I could be misinterpreted? Yes!

    Being twice as kind? YES!
    159 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/17/2020 11:20:03 AM
  • MTN_KITTEN
    I'm gonna stick out my short, fat, white women who sounds funny from the south neck here.

    What if the woman washing her car was miffed coz she was washing the car while hubby sat in the air conditioned house watching sports drinkin' a beer ???

    Or she was miffed coz she can afford a Lexus but not the car wash down the street coz she has lost her job due to the !@#$% COVID crisis???

    We allllll have preconceived ideas about gender, race, shapes and sizes. Somehow we "think" we know things that lo and behold we don't.

    I was taught to say please and thank you. Sir and ma'am. To everyone.

    I also say sweetie, honey, babe and y'all.

    I remember hubby and I going to a fine furniture store to buy solid oak end tables and the sales associate flat out told hubby and I who were wearing t-shirts and cut off blue jeans with 3 rowdy kids that ... we couldn't afford "real" oak ... now or ever. Hmmm. We left this fine store to go and purchase said end tables somewhere else who treated us with the respect we deserved.

    Please don't "judge" me with your preconceived ideas ... about my short, fat white funny sounding female self ... while I am being twice as nice and twice as good.
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    PS ... we still have the end tables and still say please and thank you; sir and ma'am to everyone.
    159 days ago
  • LYNCHD05
    This is an excellent article. We really don’t realize how deeply our unintentional actions affect others. We do need to try harder.

    I recently read A Good Neighbourhood. No it is not a feel good book but one thst makes you realize the extent of racism.

    We can do better and we should.
    159 days ago
  • PENOWOK
    Interesting article!! I grew up in a predominantly white area. We had 3 people of color in my high school while I was there. The next town over had a larger black population, and a few miles beyond had a much greater mix. We had an African American "cleaning lady" who came once a week when my mother did her volunteer thing. She was a sweet heart but lived in less than ideal surroundings. WE loved her a lot and really missed her when my dad lost his job and we couldn't afford her anymore. Even then, there was racial tension in the area. I didn't realize then that I lived in a more affluent area.

    Before I started college, the school sent out ways for us to contact our future roommate. Mine had been a teen beauty queen. I was pretty excited because I knew she was African American and I couldn't wait to meet her and learn more about her quests and interests. I got to the dorm first and hung my 4 Tops, Sidney Poitier, and Temptations posters on the walls. I did have some caucasians up there, too. I wasn't interested in color at that time, just the music. Val arrived. Her family was wonderful! As soon as they left, she told me she hates white people!!!! Wow! We'd have the better part of a year together...

    Fast forward, DH and I experience many of the same things as written in the article. I really don't think it's ageism. I think it's just how people are now. I make it a point to say a cheerful hello. We walk in the street so as not to disturb the car-washer or lawn cutter. We try to make things better by picking up other's trash after the trash truck came through and left things in the street or on the sidewalk. I do think it's less about prejudice and more about the attitudes in today's world. We are doing fine and have family and friends and acquaintances that are great, but how sad it is when people are rude...maybe scared to acknowledge others!
    159 days ago
  • MOLLIEMAC
    Absolutely. I have just acquired the book "Caste: The Origins of our Discontents" by Isabel Wilkerson. She is a black American author, winner of a Pulitzer Prize in literature and a National Humanities Award. The book will explore the pervasive caste system in all societies around the world; I think it will be a very revealing and telling read.
    159 days ago
  • LSANDY7
    I am so glad I took the time to read the article for myself. WOW! I guess I need to try harder! If you get a chance, check out the Country song BE A LIGHT. It is written by Thomas Rhett with a team of collaborators and is currently playing on US Country Music stations. It is the song I soloed for the virtual Church service this past week. Written at the start of the Covid-19 outbreak, it speaks to much more-including Black Lives Matter.
    159 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
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    159 days ago
  • JHADZHIA
    So true. Change begins with the dominant class in society.
    159 days ago
  • ONEKIDSMOM
    Amen.
    159 days ago
  • no profile photo ELRIDDICK
    Thanks for sharing
    159 days ago
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