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Day 20: Still Here

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

So still here, not dead yet, for anyone that was wondering. Had a really tough week the past week, just not feeling well and struggling quite a bit. But it didn't really seem to hinder my overall progress, as I've lost more weight and made progress with all of my stats all around. So still moving forward. I have my Fitbit again now, as well, so that should help in the motivation department. I started kind of pulling things together yesterday, but more properly today. I'm feeling a lot more ambitious and motivated right now even if I'm still not feeling particularly great. But, then, the real question is: when do I ever feel that tip-top anyway?? For me it's more just being motivated enough to ignore it. I do have a doctor's appointment coming up in November, though, so hopefully my doctor decides to address some of my problems in that appointment. Generally, though, my doctors seem unconcerned about all of my problems. I've told them my ribs hurt many times and I just get this look from nurses and doctors and then they go, "Stop smoking." So, ok, that was helpful. But not really. Oh well, I'm still alive, and will probably live longer than anyone else, so there's that. So now that I'm feeling a measure better, I'm super excited to move on with things and right now I'm getting back to writing, as my physical capacity for fitness and nutrition isn't super high right now, so I'm better off focusing on what I can do right now. Although, I'd like to kind of dabble in both areas to start out with.

Nutrition: Nutrition is really hit and miss these days. I'm not tracking--why would I?--and not planning anything at all. I'm just eating when I can. Most of the time the past week I just didn't feel like eating, so I didn't. And when I did eat, it was rarely ever healthy, it was just whatever was the absolute easiest and most convenient. I'd really like to get back on track with things, but I'm taking it one step at a time and we'll see where things go.

Fitness: I did a lot of fitness for a while and ended up getting super sore from it, then couldn't do any fitness at all because I was too sick. So that didn't go how I planned it--at all. Things rarely do. So I want to get back to doing some fitness, whatever small amount, and I'll probably work on that tonight.

Meditation: There's actually a meditation app on my Fitbit now. So that may help me to do better with meditation.

Beverages: Pretty much living on Mt. Dew. I'm drinking coffee this morning, but it's been the first time I've been able to drink coffee in a while. Although, a few pots of coffee always seems to be what gets me started back on the right track again, so I'll take it. Will start working on water again shortly.

Cigars: It's been hard to smoke cigars lately. Doesn't mean I haven't tried. But seem to be making up for that lack this morning. Not sure where things are going with my smoking right now.

Motivation: Motivation is back. I'm glad for that much. It's going to allow me to get a few things done during the remainder of the week and hopefully start to see myself move in the right direction again. I do have a crazy amount of things I have to accomplish right now, so I'm going to need the motivation.

Non-Scale Victory: My non-scale victory right now is being alive, I guess. That's always a plus.

Self-Esteem: Self-esteem is really good right now. I'm just happy to be up and moving around.

Writing: I got a new story published and it will be up online on Friday night. So there's that to look forward to. I'll be working on a few new things today and just seeing where I'm at. I've been away from things for a while so it'll probably be a slow start, but I'm excited to start writing again.

Keep Sparking!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KAYDE53
    Hang in there! Hope docs can give you some answers!
    20 days ago
    Congrats on the NSV, story being published, meditating, getting fluids in. You have so much on your plate but you are pushing on. I am proud of you for that. It would be amazing if you could kick that smoking habit, but i know how hard it is to change things and if you want success, you have to do 1 change at a time. When you are ready, ask your doctors where to get the help. You need support for all changes to be successful. God gives us intuition for a reason, so if you feel like your breathing is something else, get that second opinion, especially in this day & age of covid. Keep posting your progress. I am loving seeing you change ! HUGZ
    20 days ago
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