Home again . . .
Saturday, November 21, 2020
Let's go back to last Friday. I went to the doctor and as expected, my meds were changed and I have had to start taking insulin for now at least.
We drove all night and tell asleep almost as soon as we got there. My sister was very weak and gaunt. I was shocked to see how fragile she seemed. When we talked, I asked how long she had known or suspected that something really bad was wrong. She said that at first this Spring everyone commented on how much weight she lost over the winter,but she was thrilled. She said she had been TRYING to lose that much weight for nearly 60 years. At that point, she had lost 60 pounds over the winter. She kept dropping the weight and by now, has lost another 50 pounds. She said that she started having vertigo at the end of summer and, again, she attributed it to low blood pressure and stress. I challenged her asking how long she REALLY knew. She insisted and still insist that the news came as a total surprise When she went into the hospital. Her husband said she was achy but attributed it to getting older. She was taking care of the house and despite frequent naps, seemed okay. When I got there she could barely walk across the room with a walker without needing to rest.
She perked up while we were there but it wasn't until the day before we left that she was strong enough to get dressed. She barely are anything and if I had to guess, if say she MIGHT have had 100 calories the entire visit, including t milkshakes. She dipped a little,nibbled a bite of two, but that was all.
Her husband has congestive heart failure and problems with his legs shoulders, etc. He is being wonderful but is exhausted. Chris gets out of bed at night and he has to get up because she often falls, so isn't getting much sleep himself.
That she hasn't given up hope gives me hope too.
I know we will be making a few more trips but the Covid mess REALLY worries me.
I know I am rambling but I am definitely going to be unplugging more and may be traveling if she and her husband need me to.
I am physically and psychologically drained. I know that God doesn't give me more than I can handle, but sometimes I wish I could be weak.and cared for instead.
Speaking of cared for, my son bought a new phone and gave me his old one (about 4 generations newer than mine was) and I am being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century. I can even text now. I have already seen the advantages but also the disadvantages to this upbrade. My old one was ONLY turned on to make a call. Now it seems everyone is invading my isolation. But. . . On the other hand, I had a text conversation with my cousin for over an hour when I first got hooked up. The connection is more immediate and I get every word (my hearing thinks I am old and getting deaf) instead of just the gist of what is said.
I am off this week for "hunting season" or what the rest of the country calls Thanksgiving. Maybe the rest and down time this week will help me to find my center again.
Be blessed and remember that YOU matter!