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Q. ...Should I Feel Ashamed?

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Monday, November 23, 2020

Is there ever a time we should feel ashamed? When too thin, too heavy, or inbetween? What about when doing our best—but it does not measure up to the rest?

When my husband and I were dating; I was at an ideal weight—slim, trim, in shape. And my metabolism was charged. As a young nurse working in a hospital, I ran from dawn to dark, was happy and felt great!
Before we married, we went for coffee and sometimes his dad, then single joined us. It never failed; both would ask me, "would you like some dessert--some pie and ice cream?

"No thank you."
"Are you sure?’.

It became apparent ....they thought i was 'too thin!"
I held to my convictions--then and now. it is not what 'others think' but how i feel. After all, this is my body.

This is an actual conversation I heard recently.
"I hate my body! i hate my fat belly---and my chunky thighs and I hate looking in the mirror!"

(Before Covid-19)-I heard people say: "I would go to the gym, except i do not want people gawking!"

Forty-three years later--my husband has seen me thin, heavy, and inbetween, youthful, and now aging, still says, "You will always be beautiful to me."
Whether ‘thick or thin,’ I am still the same person i was when we met.

Since he has been faithful to love me unconditionally, then the least I can do is love myself enough to take care of myself—for myself, but for him too and our loved ones.

So then, --when should we feel ashamed of ourselves? How about never! Instead, let the driving force be the desire to be healthy and stay healthy-for quality life.

Glad you stopped by today and be sure to have a great week!

And for something special--click on--Into the screen..takes seconds to listen to.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    41 days ago
  • SHARON10002
    Yes, you are right, Jan. I have also run the gamut with my weight and body shape, and clothes size. Even though I'm not slender as almost everyone (media, clothing manufacturers, magazines, gyms, etc) I more than make up for that lack of characteristic with many others people have told me about.
    That card was beautiful. emoticon
    42 days ago
    Thanks for the pretty card and wonderful blog. I am behind with checking emails and spark messages.
    Hope your Thanksgiving was blessed with you and your husband sharing time and meal together.
    My family all stayed at their own homes and we just talked and texted on the phone this year. Was very different but we got through it all. I had a close friend come to dinner and we shared a nice meal and enjoyed the day. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Hope next year will be back to some new kind of normal and the vaccine will help cure this terrible disease. Love the idea of how we are so thin in our younger days and time and age changes much of our appearance. I try to keep fit, but this pandemic has made it harder to stay as active. Yes, our loved ones still tell us we are beautiful even when we gain a few extra pounds, but we do try daily to maintain and stay in our calorie range......God bless you and be safe, well and stay home if you can. love and hugs, Ei emoticon emoticon
    46 days ago
    That was inspiring. thank you emoticon
    48 days ago
    I'm sorry I missed this until just now, but glad I clicked through-this is wonderful-thank you!
    53 days ago
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    54 days ago
    Very good advice!
    55 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    You are so right Jan, we do constantly judge ourselves in such a negative way. I liked your statement that you are being as healthy as you can for yourself first, then your loved ones. Sometimes I feel we do things not for ourselves but for others.

    Now is the time to focus on our health mainly, especially since we are getting older. No excuse not to exercise and get that body moving. We have internet and simple things around the house to help us with exercise. Don't need a fancy gym to do the things we need to do our bodies good.

    Thanks for this share. emoticon
    56 days ago
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    57 days ago
    This was amusing, we women feel a hint or a message even between the words. LOL
    Yes, health alone is reason enough to change the shape! Thank you, I liked the blog.
    Have a blessed Thanksgiving!
    59 days ago
  • HEDSTS58
    We should never be ashamed of ourselves but we are. At times we are our worse enemies. I loved your blog. It reminded me to stop being so critical of myself. I need to remember to count my blessings. I have a husband who loves me through thick and thin, literally. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.
    59 days ago
    Lovely card! THX for this blog! I can remember the EXACT time my body image became bad. My grandmother called me fat. I was 13 yrs. & VERY tall for my age.(I'm 5'9" she was 5 feet tall) I have done A LOT of 'work' dealing with this, but doing GREAT now! Forgiveness is the best medicine!

    THX again for your wonderful inspiration! PS... go to my latest blog, if you have time. You can see what I'm up to!
    59 days ago
    Great blog - and great husband, too. and of course - you should not be ashamed unless you did an unkind or dishonest thing. And then you should say "I'm sorry. How can I fix this?" Right?

    And I am a great fan of Jacquie Lawson.
    59 days ago
    The e-card was beautiful- thank you.

    To be honest I've always had self image problems. Especially when my own family was ashamed of me when I was at my heaviest. Not my husband though, he's always loved me supported no matter what.
    That's awesome you and others in their comments don't struggle with that. I'm working on it all the time, it isn't easy.
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    59 days ago
    People with wisdom know that true beauty comes from the heart and soul and will look for it in everyone they meet, right past our physical exteriors no matter the shape or size. And yes, I blame my less than slender figure on my slowing metabolism... as a woman post 40, I'm pretty sure a 14 year old burns more calories when he SNEEZES than I do all day!
    59 days ago
  • HUBBARD9644
    What a beautiful blog about you and your husband. I too, feel blessed to have a man who has seen me at my high and lows and continues to support me unconditionally.
    I too wish certain things about my body I could change, the bottom line is, I am thankful for what I have and what I have experienced in my journey.
    Have a "Happy Thanksgiving"
    59 days ago
  • LSIG14
    The only time I am ashamed of myself (and rightfully so) is when I haven't done my best on the path to getting healthy! When I have been making excuses instead of making progress, then I really need to take a look at the why and look for a better way!
    59 days ago
  • NEWNANCY2012
    Wonderful blog and beautiful card - emoticon
    60 days ago
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    60 days ago
    You never cease to amaze me!! My hubby and I had a very similar discussion just this week. I asked him if I could use his back brace while I was doing some cleaning, thought it might help my back from hurting so much. He gladly got it out for me and of course it was too small for me to wear. My hubby is a skinny guy and I have some tummy on me! I made the comment that I should have known it wouldn't fit me. His reply was,
    "well I've never had babies that stretched my skin out, so you still look sexy to me, I'll rub your back if it hurts when you get done!"
    The video proves just that, no matter what your size or your style, you are still beautiful to someone else!
    Have a great day! HUGS ALWAYS!
    60 days ago
    Great message for all of us. Thank you
    60 days ago
    Thank you! The video was wonderful. Even in nature the birds are all in different shapes and colors so we shouldn't worry about what we look like but still I do. Your words really impacted me. I should try to love myself more. I have been having such a hard time losing weight! It just won't give. I think I may have to go to the doctors to see what is going on.
    60 days ago
    What an awesome blog!
    60 days ago
  • no profile photo RACHNACH
    60 days ago
  • THINCPL2004
    This was such a beautiful blog. Thank you for sharing.
    60 days ago

    what a lovely blog!
    60 days ago
  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
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    60 days ago
    What a wonderful blog. And I loved the card. Thank you so much. emoticon
    60 days ago
    I think it is human nature to never be satisfied with what we have. I have straight, fine hair and I wish it was thicker with more body. My friend is the opposite. The grass is always greener... That being said, hating ourselves for what we are is NEVER healthy.
    60 days ago
    Great blog....nice add!
    60 days ago
    60 days ago
    emoticon Jan,
    I love Jacque Lawson. I love this one.
    emoticon emoticon
    60 days ago
    Great posting. Thanks for your insight.
    60 days ago
    Another great blog! I struggled with self-esteem when I was a teen-ager. Thankfully, some very caring people in my life pointed me to scripture in the Bible that reminds me who God says I am.
    60 days ago
    That was beautiful! Thank you for sharing. emoticon
    60 days ago
    I too have run the spectrum of weight. My husband has been with me literally through thick and thin and loves me to unconditionally. His weight over the 47 years that I have known him has never changed more than 10 pounds. He has a great metabolism, me, not so much but he still loves the person, not the body. I guess we are two lucky gals.
    60 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    I like you have been the full spectrum of weight. I wish I were back to the age when my kids were young and I was their soccer coach. But I am not that was a different time, and I had a different body shape. I only dislike my shape now because I know that I can improve it. And I will work on that, but I am not going to let it define me.
    60 days ago
    I admire people who can just be happy
    I am overweight but I work on it and I do my best to just be happy
    60 days ago
    emoticon emoticon the message that you wrote here hits so so much at home for the same has and does happen in my house hubby has seen me in my adult life lowest weight and also the highest with the in between but he has still stuck with me and still loves me for who I am (personality and love wise not physically fit wise) just as I have him.

    emoticon for the colorful and beautiful card
    60 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/24/2020 5:48:48 AM
    emoticon We should never be ashamed of our ourselves. Thank you for the beautiful card.
    60 days ago
    Thank you
    60 days ago
  • LIS193
    How we look on the outside doesn’t change who we really are. Beauty comes from within.

    60 days ago
    emoticon We should never be ashamed!
    60 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    .Thanks for sharing this wonderful blog with us. I do get day here and there that I just think I should have lost so much weight by now. Then reality sets in and have to admit I am happy to be still living. Today I had an appointment with the heart doctor for the results of my carotid arteries ultra sound. I guess I'm doing something right as there is only 15% plaque in each of the two carotids, and both of us were very pleased. He also said that 3 of my medications that I take daily, are medications they have people with high percentages of plaque in the arteries a put on. So something To be happy about for now.
    The card is lovely.
    60 days ago
    P.S. The card was lovely!
    60 days ago
    I don't think we should be ashamed of ourselves, not of who we are...but I can definitely say that there have been times when I have been ashamed of my *behaviour.* And should have been, for sure. Now I try very hard not to ever do or say anything I will be ashamed of.
    60 days ago
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    60 days ago
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    60 days ago
    I think that we often think of ourselves in terms of PARTS and not what we really are A TOTAL PACKAGE. And often, a lack of self-confidence triggers this way of thinking. How wonderful that David loves you completely. It makes me very sad when I see or over-hear a husband talk to his wife in a demeaning way......especially if she lets him get away with it. We are very lucky.

    Thanks again for another great blog.

    60 days ago
    60 days ago
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