SP Premium
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints 193,832

just sayin’ … TMI … wayyyy tooooo much personal information

Monday, November 23, 2020

I have ripped the band-aid off on this lesson.

More from Steve #83:

Fat people want to be recognized for suffering.
Fit people want to be recognized for success.

Fat people who haven’t fully committed to a healthy diet and exercise program thrive on sympathy from others. After years of failing on diets, many have become emotionally addicted to people feeling sorry for them.

Each time they fail, they’re showered with more sympathy. This endless loop of emotional addiction to sympathy is one of the most debilitating mindsets of the middle class.

Fit people don’t get thin and healthy for anyone but themselves. They succeed because they believe they’re worth it.

*A fit person in a fat body never feels comfortable. They have a healthy self-image and seeing a fat, bloated, distorted body reflected back at them makes them feel as though they’re living in someone else’s skin.*

**They move forward like a locomotive driven by passion and emotion until they look in the mirror and see themselves again. The fit person’s reward comes from within, and they are willing to forgo the pleasure-based rewards of the present for the gratification of the future.**

Critical Thinking Question: Are you searching for sympathy for your temporary suffering or looking forward to a lifetime of recognition for your fitness success???

Action Step: Invest thirty seconds today in imagining how your friends and family will respond to your fitness success. Think about how you will be treated with more respect. Flash a picture in your mind of how others will look at you when you walk into a room. Ponder how you will become an inspiration to others who are struggling with their weight.

WOW. My thoughts are allllll over the place.

Recognition for suffering.
… feel as though they’re living in someone else’s skin.
They move forward …
Imagine friends and family …

Yes, I want recognition for getting healthy … it’s not easy. But I want the scale to “reward” me for alllllll my suffering.

I had broken knees for ages from a car accident back in high school. I wanted a “reward” for allllllll my suffering.

True confession … I want recognition, reward, parade, trophy or at least a medal … for taking care of Hubby during his multiple chaotic, destructive, life threatening maniac episodes during the last 13 years. Yep. I said it out loud.

Hubby has no control over these episodes, is not in touch with real reality … but for weeks, months after he is back on earth, HIS memories during these episodes are repeated day and night until I want to … well, choke him or leave him. If he would just … shut up about HIS inaccurate convoluted remembrance of what was said and done … WE could move on. Thus … the burning desire for MY “reward” for suffering.

What I really, really want is recognition for staying by Hubby’s side while he is the very worst version of himself AND not hearing his out of reality side of the story. No reward needed … I LOVE the guy.

It takes an inordinate amount of time before we circle around to thanks for MY success of taking care of him. So … I eat as my reward in the mean time???

… feel as though they’re living in someone else’s skin. BINGO!!! I have felt this way for eons and eons. My fault. But, but, BUT … geeeze!!!

I like ME.
Where is ME???

I have not moved like a locomotive to get back to … ME.

Imagine friends and family … who cares about being a role model. I just want to impress … ME.

Whew. I’m gonna marinate … on this lesson.

Thanks for wading through the mire with me.

Change your mind … and the rest WILL follow.

Coz … I want to be ME.

• Detach from the numbers.

**Within this blog is my longwinded thoughts based on my reading and humble understanding of Steve Siebold’s Die Fat or Get Tough and years and years and years of searching for thinness and … self-peace.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WILDKAT781
    You have worked very hard to take care of your hubby. I hope he appreciates you!
    62 days ago
    "So … I eat as my reward in the mean time???"

    But what kind of a reward is that? How does it feel rewarding to experience such little pleasure in the moment of eating and such ongoing displeasure in your own skin?

    I'm not asking those questions, of course I'm not.

    You absolutely DO deserve a medal -- recognition for being the wonderfully supportive and loving wife you've been under very very difficult circumstances.

    You absolutely do NOT deserve to lug around the extra weight one more minute. Supposing someone told you: you've gotta carry around x pounds 24/7 to be a "good person". Pretty sure you'd say: absolutely not, no thanks, won't do it.

    62 days ago
    You've had a long road with hubby. It sucks at times but you ARE doing a good job and he couldn't do it without you.
    62 days ago
    OKM said it best (as she often does)

    62 days ago
    Deep thoughts... and hard, hard, emotional work. It's a real eye-peeler... and in the end, forgiving yourself for HAVING feelings, however uncomfortable that may be to your self-image! Good job! emoticon emoticon
    62 days ago
    You DO deserve recognition, reward, parade, trophy or at least a medal!
    Thirteen years is a long time to focus so much on someone else’s needs, to the neglect of your own.
    Please search and find the balance you need.
    62 days ago
    Wow! Lots to think about! Hmmmm . . . never thought about this as a sympathy ploy, but that may be right!

    I think most of it goes on in my OWN head!

    Hugs and have a peaceful Thanksgiving.

    62 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.