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Change

Wednesday, March 03, 2021

It was a Tuesday night, July 12, 2011, this was my third Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, it was a beginners meeting. The chairperson was Bobby G. and he decided to have a meeting on change. I sat confused, angry, unsure, and just hopeless! I listened as the people shared their experience, strength and hope on the topic of change. I was a bit rattled when Bobby G. called my name and asked if I would like to share, what in the world did I know about change? I had read the 12 steps and 12 tradition posters hanging on the wall and was already uncertain about this program, I saw the word God and at this time was still agnostic. I introduced myself as David and as an alcoholic, I was really just following suit, I wasn't truly convinced at this time that I was an alcoholic. I remember saying that I was afraid of change, that I didn't know what I was going to do on my birthday, or Christmas, or at parties or any occasion that meant drinking. That's when I realized every day was an occasion to drink, I exclaimed what am I going to do tomorrow, I remember some of the people laughing, although the physical allergy had left me immediately, the mental obsession was right there! As I rambled on of how my life had become a mess and that I was tired of living this way, I did not know how to change. The more I thought of how unmanageable my life had become the more honest I was with myself. I remember breaking down and crying like a child after rambling on for a few moments, before ending what at this time was my experience ,strength and hope, all three day's of it! I was alone, afraid, and hopeless when I walked in that meeting at 08:00, I left with a little hope, thank God for Alcoholics Anonymous it saved my life! I have sat in many a meeting and saw that same person, the person that I had become, share with others the same pain I felt that night, this always reminds me of what happened , what it was like and what it is like now.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WHITECAT19

    I thank God for His mercy for you and so many others! I always suspected I had an addictive personality, so was afraid to get drunk or dabble in drugs. And It has been borne out by my eating habits and some other bad habits over many years. (I would also not dare to gamble for money, even if I did not object on religious grounds.) But many family members have struggled with alcohol and drugs. I have seen the tragedy and heartbreak that resulted. I have prayed many tearful prayers for my loved ones..

    I am so glad you awoke from that nightmare and were redeemed! Thank you for having the courage to share your story to help others.

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    49 days ago
  • NANCYPAULINE
    I admire you and all who live through such a big change and commitment. I think giving up sweets is hard, but that''s nothing like what you've managed. emoticon Wow, you're about to celebrate your 10th anniversary, from 2011 to 2021!
    50 days ago
  • PRIMEOFMYLIFE
    What a life changing event! So proud of how far you have come. Thank you for sharing. May this ripple reach someone who needs a nudge towards change.
    emoticon
    50 days ago
  • CATWMNCAT
    I have never been, but had close family members who would agree with all you said... life changing!
    50 days ago
  • DARLENEK04
    Congratulations for your courage in sharing.

    Blessings,
    Darle
    neK
    50 days ago
  • PDAWN12
    NA member here. Drug free since 2004. The Rooms are a miracle of GOD. Forever grateful
    50 days ago
  • SLIMMERJESSE
    Congrats, David. So wonderful!
    50 days ago
  • MDOWER1
    Thanks for sharing that
    50 days ago
  • PYNETREE
    Congrats on Living Sober! ☆☆ Proud of my husband, now sober for 17 months! ♡
    50 days ago
  • MARINGAL
    I just want to congrats you on your sobriety. I celebrated my 24th year this year...a day at a time. AA is truly a miracle in a room.
    50 days ago
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