SP Premium
350,000-499,999 SparkPoints 405,006

KITTYHAWK1949's Blogs

jokes day 330
Saturday, January 23, 2021      8 comments

Ole is hiking in the mountains of Norway, and he slips on a wet rock and falls over the edge of a 500-foot cliff. He falls twenty feet and grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. There he is, hanging, looking into this deep fjord do... Read more
jokes day 329
Friday, January 22, 2021      7 comments

Ole was fishing with Sven in a rented boat. They could not catch a thing. Ole said, "Let's go a bit furder downstream." So they did and they caught many monstrous fish. They had their limit, so they went home. On the way home, Sven said, "I... Read more
jokes day 328
Thursday, January 21, 2021      9 comments

Ole: Sven, how many Swedes does it take to grease a combine? Sven: I don't know, Ole. Ole: Only two if you run them through real slow. Sven: So, Ole--I see you got a sign up that says "Boat for Sale." But you don't own a boat. All... Read more
jokes day 327
Wednesday, January 20, 2021      9 comments

Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at night, and they head down the railroad tracks. Sven says, "This is the longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me, it's the... Read more
jokes day 326
Tuesday, January 19, 2021      9 comments

Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the freeway, he calls up Lena and says, "Oh. Lena, I'm calling you from the freeway on my new car phone." And Lena says, "Be careful, Ole, because on the radio they say that some nut is driving the wro... Read more
jokes day 325
Monday, January 18, 2021      10 comments

Sven and Ole went out duck hunting. They worked at it for a couple hours and finally Sven says, "I wonder why aren't we getting any ducks, Ole?" "I don't know," says Ole. "I wonder if we're throwing the dog high enough." Did you hear ab... Read more
jokes day 324
Sunday, January 17, 2021      11 comments

Lena was competing in the Sons of Norway swim meet. She came in last in the hundred-yard breast stoke, and she said to the judges, "Oh say, I don't want to complain, but I tink those other two girls ver using dere arms!" Ole: Say, I went ... Read more
jokes day 323
Saturday, January 16, 2021      11 comments

Ole: I need to buy some boards there, Sven. Sven: How long you want 'em, Ole? Ole: Long time. I'm building a house, ya know. Really great news on weigh-in as lost almost 5# this week. The Starfish was 10th out of 12 teams this firs... Read more
jokes day 322
Friday, January 15, 2021      17 comments

Ole and Sven go on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. Sven says, "The way I figger it, Ole, each of them fish cost us $400." Ole says, "Well, at dat price it's a good ting we didn't catch any more of 'em than we did.... Read more
jokes day 321
Thursday, January 14, 2021      11 comments

Ole came home from work one day and found Lena sitting on the edge of the bed, naked. He asked her, "Lena, why are you sitting there without any clothes on?" And Lena said, "I don't have no clothes to wear." Ole said, "Don't be silly--you got... Read more
jokes day 320
Wednesday, January 13, 2021      13 comments

A sadistic drill sergeant runs his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on. As they stand there, exhausted, he puts his face right up to one recruit's face and says, "I'll bet you're wishing I would die so you c... Read more
jokes day 319
Tuesday, January 12, 2021      11 comments

This man got a job with the county highway department painting lines down the center of the highway. The supervisor told him he was expected to paint two miles of highway a day, and the man started work the next day. The first day the man pain... Read more
jokes day 318
Monday, January 11, 2021      13 comments

The human cannonball decided he was too old to go on being shot across the circus arena and into a net night after night. So he went to the circus owner and told him he was going to retire. The owner cried, "But you can't! Where am I going to... Read more
jokes day 317
Sunday, January 10, 2021      9 comments

The NYPD, the FBI, and the CIA have engaged for years in serious competition to determine which organization is the most deft apprehender of criminals. The president, wanting to resolve the question once and all, releases a rabbit into a forest... Read more
jokes day 316
Saturday, January 09, 2021      13 comments

Teacher: Class, it's an interesting linguistic fact, in English, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language in which a double positive ca... Read more

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 Last Page »