Maintaining or Backsliding? How can we help you?

My problem is being unable to let go.

I'm at goal range (I've got it set between 125-130, but I'm NOT happy if I go over 128 - I'm 5'4") and wear a size 2/4. Intellectually, I don't WANT to get skinnier. I know I'm a healthy weight and size. But - I keep looking in the mirror and hating how I'm not "perfect". My stomach is the biggest issue.

To be honest, I'm not even sure if it's that I have too much tummy fat (waist is about 26.5˝, hips are 33˝) or if it's just that I really like hourglass figures and I will NOT ever be one. I'm a rectangular shape, I build muscle easily and my waist is not really going to be waspy and nipped in. But I keep trying. :( I keep thinking if I just get a little thinner my whole body shape will change or something. It's completely illogical!

I'm a distance runner. Doing half marathons and ten milers this Summer with a goal to run a full marathon in October. I'm averaging 25-30 miles run a week, plus at least one day of strength (p90x) and one day of cross training/abs. I burn about 3000-3300 a week, based on my HRM from runs/cardio and estimating 200 calories for an hour of strength.

I am trying to eat around 1500-1600 a day - with MUCH more on my long run days (I burn over a 1000 calories when I run 10+ miles) to keep my deficit around 500-600 calories.

I've noticed I'm crabby and not super happy lately. I sort of hate the world a fair amount and get overwhelmed really easily. I wonder if it's due to hunger and if I need to just give myself a break already. My SO has expressed worry about me on occasion and I'll admit to skating on the edge of disordered eating off and on.

I DO love food, though, and I'm never ever eating less than 1400 a day. I just am fighting overdoing it with calories burned. I feel nervous if I miss a run or if I eat "too much". I fall into a shame spiral and feel like a failure. If I miss a workout I feel like I don't "deserve" to eat much.

Some days, I wouldn't be lying if I said I'm more miserable thin than I was heavier. :/ Most days I'm just edgy, not miserable and insane - but I am struggling. I worry I will never be good enough to please myself. :(

SunriseSunset: I exercise 2-3 hours a day but it is not all cardio. It is a mixture of cardio, strength training and yoga type exercise. I like to go to the gym because I am quite a couch potato at home and because I want to lower my blood sugar, I find exercise keeps it down.
I also live with 5 other people and I like to go there to get out of the house. I believe my thyroid has been checked, but I will make sure when I see my doctor next.
I feel tired because I haven't had enough sleep. When I am stressed I don't sleep enough hours and fatigue really makes me want extra comfort food.
Thank you for your response.

MARIEFUNFIT: I haven't heard of anyone who exercises for 2-3hrs a day! To maintain, the recommended guideline is 45-90mins. Have you had your thyroid checked? If you gain when you exercise less, it might mean that your body/hormones are unstable. Medicine would help.

Maybe you're tired because you exercise a lot? I'm tired doing one hour, let alone three. If you exercise less than you might be less hungrier because your body isn't trying to refuel so much.

Whatever you do must be life. If you're struggling then something's wrong. Maintenance isn't easy because some forget that they can't forgo exercising and eat like everyone else. Plus some always have to battle certain cravings. Otherwise, you shouldn't be struggling. If your diet is correct then you should look at your exercise. Have you tried exercising less?

I am struggling right now. I have diabetes, am vegan and sugar free. I exercise 2-3 hours a day, most days. I am trying not to lose any more weight so I have been eating nuts and seeds just to maintain and now I can't seem to stop. I nibbled on them all afternoon today just watching tv. I have done this three days in a row. I feel tired I believe from not sleeping very well, snacking and from vegging. I know when I become fatigued I eat more. I am still not (as far as I know) gaining any real weight (sticking to 1-2 lbs of what I like to be at, 115). I have spoken to dieticians about this and they don't seem to have any answers for me at all given that I am vegan and sugar free. I feel very frustrated and discouraged. Thanks for having this topic.

Thanks for your reply's! I did set my goal to loose another 20 lbs but I put my goal far enough away so I will be loosing the weight much more slowly.

Sunrise: I lost a lot of my weight from my face and chest but I tend to carry a lot more on my belly and thighs, so ideally that's were the weight would come from.
My main focus is on toning everything up and getting some definition in my muscles!

Thanks again!!

SpaceWoman: Most people are uneasy with change that they themselves didn't want first. They hate the new houses going in to the land they always knew as open, or the dead tree they remember from forever coming down. Unless they have been after you about your weight, they won't like seeing you change. Probably because they'll assume that if you change on the outside, you'll change on the inside. It's just dislike of any change.

As far as your weight goes, your goal weight is a matter between you, your doctor (if necessary) and (when medical issues are at hand) the people who love you the most. If there are no medical issues, let your comfort, both physical and emotional, be your guide.

SPACEWOMENZERO: Maybe you could take it five pounds at a time instead of going by the BMI chart, which isn't the most accurate tool. You could go by body fat instead.

If people say you're too skinny, it could be many things:

1. They're not used to seeing you slim, so they need to adjust. Or they're scared that you'll keep losing and losing and losing and never stop.

2. You've lost too much weight. Have you taken a good look at your photos? Pictures show what the mirror can't because your eyes need to adjust to being smaller. I'd say I'll be too skinny for my liking if I have ribs on show all the time-not just when I'm stretching or very out of breath, a very low body fat, stick legs and arms with a bobble head, etc. Only you can decide what's right for you.

Looking at just your profile picture, personally I don't see where the extra twenty pounds of fat would come from. Why do you want to be the middle of the healthy chart? Are you scared that if you regain some pounds you'll still be 'healthy' according to the BMI? I'm aiming for the middle of the BMI chart myself, but that's because I've been 10lbs away from the top end and I wasn't anywhere near done.

I hit my goal weight on April 8th! But now I'm having a tough time maintaining it. I am also unsure if I should set a new goal of 130, it would put me smack in the middle of "healthy" on BMI charts.

Also how do you deal with people telling you that you've lost enough or that your to skinny?

Thank you for any and all reply's!

Aine fin-
It sounds to me as if you've maintained this weight for some time. It may be that's where your body is comfortable. 145 is certainly not heavy at your height, and it sounds as if you're fit. Sometimes we can get carried away...I tried in the summer going down 6 more pounds and I went right back up to my prior weight I had been holding onto (after losing 70#) for quite awhile. I Have stayed there now for over a year, so my body is trying to tell me, that is a good place to stay. As long as I am feeling fit and am able to fit into my jeans, I am not too concerned about the number on the scale or ever fitting into a "size 6". I am thrilled to be in the size I am, which is way less than I was. Anyway that is just my 2 cents.

Edited by: LILAC93 at: 4/13/2010 (14:55)

I guess I just don't know if I should be maintaining or trying to lose some more weight. I've been living healthily with SP for over 2 years now. My starting weight was 145 lb. (I'm 5'5)and I lost 6 pounds fairly quickly with exercising and cutting back on food. I didn't have a specific weight-loss goal as such, I was 140 before I put on weight and my BMI at that weight is 23ish so I stopped there. I've kept the weight off for 2 years with good food and lots of exercise but I guess I've never really felt 'done' and keep considering losing more.

Now that I'm a few weeks away from finishing a hectic year of school, I'm thinking about it some more. Although I'm fit and healthy I still feel self-conscious about my stomach and thighs and I think maybe a few pounds off would make a big difference. Or would it?!

I'd love some opinions though I know it's really up to how I feel - I'm just not sure how I feel! I'd appreciate any help.

Jenny, I like the day by day approach for sure. We really only have now.

Lilac, your increased veggies and activities will serve you well. Good plan.

I'm in my weight range right now, but not at the bottom. Will rein it back a bit if still up next week. (Sometimes I rein it in too quickly for maintenance.) -Marsha

I have been maintaining for over a year. Recently my appetite has gone up and as a result I gained a few pounds. So what I have been trying is making a large serving of vegtables (nothing on it) with dinner. If I am still hungry I eat more of the veggie, rather than binge on other things. It seems to be working. I have increased my pysical training a lot so, my body is telling me I need more, better veggies than other stuff.

My problem is trying to keep a "day by day" approach to the whole thing. I get in trouble when I start thinking about making good choices for all the days, weeks, months, and years to come! Sometimes it gets overwhelming. But when I take it once choice at a time it seems more manageable.

getting closer to my goal weight -- only 8.4lbs to go

didn't track food this week and am down 2 pounds and I even had ice cream and 4 hershey kisses before I went to bed. Oh well, new week we'll see how it goes. I'll try not to exercise so much - but I want to exercise it keeps me sane.

As long as the reward isn't food. In Jean Nidetch's book "The Story of Weight Watchers" she tells of the time she bought a little inflatable bath pillow with suction cups, and rewarded herself with a bubble bath. Not having food as a reward was a novel idea.

Yes, rewards are a very good thing, even for the smallest triumph. Since I've been getting manicures as a reward when I started losing weight, I have promised myself to continue them every other week if I manage to maintain my weight. It's both a carrot and a reward. I have normally awful nails, and I don't want to go back to that.

As Marsha says, if you put the brakes on quickly and reward yourself for the successes, you'll still be here at maintenance the rest of your long life.

Mary

Oh, Val, I know the feeling. 500 really isn't much of overeating, but after 2 eves I see why you want to put the brakes on. Do you need to set a reward to work toward? Sometimes that works for me. Once I "earned" a new Geo Foreman grill by increasing my exercise for 8 weeks and once I rewarded myself with a new scale for healthy eating (meeting WW good health guidelines) for one month. Might work! Know I'm with you -Marsha

Grumble, the past two days I have eaten an extra 500 calories each day. At night no less--I am not usually a night eater. One night a big scone was my downfall, last night it was a cupcake and two extra pieces of bread at dinner.

Mind over matter, mind over matter, come on mind step up to the plate--the dinner plate!!!

Val

didn't track calories this week - a choice thing although i've been toooo busy - but after I lost a pound last week I figured let's see what happens so i'm up a pound but I ate some extra candy bars deliberately because i'm down too far. so we'll see how this week goes. i'm still working at maintaining - go figure.

Marsha, I have managed to lose 1 of the 6 pounds I've gained so far. Official weigh-in is Monday however. It's been challenging though! I went to a church supper tonight and although the main course was low calorie, there was a cake table. I sat back and back and thought I wasn't going to succumb at all but did end up having a very small bit. So I ended the day within my calorie range. Whew!

Val

Oldmom, I was sick in December and lost 3 pounds. My doctor told me I need to put it back on, but I'm very tentative at doing it. I know it sounds like a green light, but I can 10 without trying. 3 is harder.

I'm going to try to be careful, but I'm having a really hungry day. I woke up weighing 127.4, which is only the second time I've seen 127. Last time I thought, yikes, that's not enough and I started eating and couldn't quit. Then I was at 133 and had to cut back. I have an event (United Way Annual Meeting and Dinner) tonight and I'll do the best I can. Think I can still stay in calorie range or close to it. We'll see. -Marsha

I know what you mean! Right I am up by 3 lbs. I will lose it but it's a pain! I just have to stay on track.

I am 6 pounds up right now. Know it's because I didn't stay on track in February. Being on this team will make me accountable.

well...not tracking my food i dropped another pound...probably too much snow shoveling... oh well here's to another week.

I seem to fluctuate about 1 or 2 lbs. in each direction over a couple of weeks. The difference now from the past is I don't panic nor do I bury my head in the sand and pretend gaining isn't happening. Checking in with SP frequently helps tremendously. If I do start the long backslide to the big bottom, I'll be here in a flash.

Have been so busy this week haven't tracked food, but have kept portions controlled and have tracked exercise - we'll see what the scale thinks of this.

Always battling being good. UGH!

I'm up in weight but working on getting it back off plus changed my Goal weight to the low end.

Down 4.5 lbs so far.



Edited by: WALKWITME at: 2/26/2010 (07:00)

I was up 3 pounds on Sunday morning. I knew it wasn't just fluctuation; I had eaten too much. Took me two days to get back to target weight. Last time it was six days, so I think I'm doing better.

Rena, I was thinking about the word "skinny" while reading your post. Isn't it interesting that those of us who used to be fat interpret the word "skinny" as "beautiful"? Someone who is always trying to gain weight hears the word the way we hear "fat": as an insult. My kids know that whenever they want to placate me, just call me skinny and I am all smiles.

I am maintaining but my actual muscle mass is increasing alot.. I love the muscle deal- I don't look so sickly with decent muscle on me as I did being 60kgs..
It feels like that ice skater whom put on weight- her partner was greatful because he has something to grab onto when they skate.. Being too skinny can hurt when being thrown around and grabbed at high speed.. Finger tips on skin and bone hurts- I used to be black and blue using the gym equipment but not anymore since regaining decent cushioning.. I am heavy build even if short- actually have huge natural thigh and calf muscles- always have done.. I can see them better since training them..

Edited by: RENA1965 at: 2/18/2010 (23:27)

I am at the lowest that I've been at since 1974. This time I am maintaining, not going back to the old habits. I eat more protein, 100g/day and less carbs about 50g/day. I exercise throughout the day, with videos and neighbourhood walks mostly. I want to get a Wii someday and give that a try.
It seems to work for me.
Thank-you everyone for your tips on maintaining.

I'm maintaining. I can say that today. A couple days ago I had a fluctuation up and I wasn't sure if I was gaining or not, but I'm down, so I can say with confidence, I am maintaining!

I fill out my spark nutrition counter pretty well and also my fitness tracker. These are great tools but I am aware no matter how acurate I try to be what I get is an estimate. That's ok. it's just good to be aware of that.
Trying for variety and trying to keep fats healthy is a good thing. I don't count them individually however. I just make sure I use Canola or Olive oil and keep it to a minimum.
I am feeling like a maintainer today. I am at the lowst weight Ihave been since the holidays and an 11 day vacation. I was a little worried for a few days. I am starting to thnk maybe my body likes being slim and healthy.

I like using the SP tracker regarding nutrients. I have learned many things. For more than a year I had been following Weight Watchers, which helped me in many ways. But SparkPeople made me aware that I was not eating enough healthy fat, was eating too much fiber, and far more sodium than I thought. That is useful info.

I don't track nutrients at all. My middle son is a registered dietician working in a hospital here in Virginia (he runs the dietary department in addition to clinical clients), and he says that it is impossible to track all important nutrients. The important thing is a varied diet. Some patients have deficiencies in one or two nutrients, but you can't possible track them all.

One of the reasons I like the exchange concept of eating is that it ensures a balanced diet. Every day I eat 3-5 exchanges of protein, 4-6 exchanges of breads, 3 or more of vegs, 2 fruits, 2 dairies, and 3 fats, and 21 more sprinkled out over the week to make it interesting. There is no way to be in trouble that way, but too many people don't like checking off little boxes every day, let alone measuring everything. A 1-oz difference is a lot in some things.

I was amazed to find out how little protein I really need at my age, and how much bread and veg I need.

Steve says some people try to count nutrients in an effort to feel in control, but soon give up because it is so very complicated, and the iu's vary too much in natural ingredients, as well as in the preparation technique.

I love having a dietician in the family. Since food has been an obsession of mine for so long, it's nice to have passed it on to someone who took it to the next level. And our conversations are always fascinating!

Help needed. I have decided to start tracking more nutrients. Can any one tell me how much poly and mono fat is allowed. If any. I have updated my nutrients but these 2 are 0. Does this mean you should have none?

Gaining confidence about maintaining would grow every time you lose the 2-3 pounds you may gain, from eating normally but healthy. Eating at a higher calorie then flipping to 600+ calories less works well for losing weight as it is such a difference. You learn that you can stay within a 5-10 pound range of your goal weight. You learn that you do in fact have the tools you need and you know how to use them. You did lose the weight so I know you do know them! 10 would freak you out I think but choose the highest weight you refuse to go over then pick a number below that to give you at least a few pounds leeway. Do not insist on staying at 112 and only 112 for that is far too stressful I think. Try 110-115!

You will never gain confidence in anything you don't actually attempt, you merely need the courage to try.

I read in a book one time about a man who noted the unhappy demeanor of older women who were grim about the sacrifice of maintaining the thin bodies required by their station in life. I sometimes lament the incredible effort of maintaining my size 2 (which used to be a 6 before size inflation) at my age, but every time I put on 3 pounds my face looks fat and I panic. I gained 10 pounds going through the incredible urge for sweets to counter the headaches of menopause, and it took years to get it off, and I don't know if I could go through that again.

I know I wouldn't have to endure the teenage taunts I had to grit my teeth against all those years ago, but the memory of that misery is always there, right below the surface. And I remember that it was harder to lose weight at 55 than at 21. It would be harder now.

So have I OldMom!

The main difference this time is I am no longer afraid to gain back a pound! Or even 5 - but you didn't hear that from me!

As I told my DH, I am not afraid because I know if I gain 5 lbs, I can lose them again! It is that confidence that tells me I don't ever have to be afraid of being fat or obese ever again!

What I'm working on is confidence that I can stay at this weight. I still struggle from time to time, indulging a little more than I want to. Probably 95% of the time I'm doing a good job of eating healthy and being active.

I've lost and gained weight many times. If anyone has any clues as to how to live confidently at goal weight, please fill me in.

You need to raise your metabolism so that you can enjoy life. Eating should not be constant deprivation and unhappiness.
Eat 1-200 calories more and weigh yourself every day. When you go up 2-3 pounds diet for no more than 3 days and go back to higher calories. (I lose up to 4 pounds in those 3 days of diet). Your body will naturally adjust to burn more calories and the time between dieting days will get longer. Add 1-200 more and do it again! Raise your calorie range to a point where you you can eat normally but healthy and not have to count every calorie but just ballpark it.

If your weigh is very difficult to maintain it is not your ideal weight - it is too low. Your body is fighting you because it is not happy where it is. You will either forever continue fighting to stay at that weight or let go of what you think is a good weight and put some weight on. When your body is happy it will not be that hard to maintain. Then you do not have to say no all the time - you can indulge now and then within reason and enjoy yourself!!

I'm 58 myself NellJones, but I use walking and Walk Away The Pounds to offset a few extra calories daily.

I am heavier than you at 120ish but I found that there is only about 100 calories difference in about 20 lbs for my frame and I feel I can always walk that off.

You've been maintaining your weight all your life, for the past 40 years at least - I am surprised you are so afraid to 'break out' just a little bit now and then.

SparkPeople tells us to have a 5 lb range but like you, I am more comfortable with a 3 lb range.

Today I had an unexpected dessert - and wow! when I saw the calories after I had eaten it - but 2 miles of WATP burned off what I needed to get rid of to end the day in positive territory.

Have you tried to increase your Cardio so you could relax a little on the calorie fears?

I am finding it harder to work hard at maintaining my goal. I'm still here at the lowest end of the goal range from when I was 21. I have to eat a lot less to maintain 112 than it would be to maintain 120 or 125, both of which are well within the range for a 5'4" woman. I'm 60 now and on the one hand I should be able to let myself put on a few pounds, but I am afraid that I wouldn't look the way I am used to looking.

But it's a lot of work. I am actually below 112 right now, I was so afraid of overeating at the holidays that I lost weight.

Anyone else afraid of gaining, afraid of lifting the goal for fear of not being able to stop gaining once it starts? Two or three pounds don't phase me, but 5 would send me into a panic. Yet it is so HARD to say no all the time.

hey everyone here at MAINTAINING. lets see, i started out at 210 and have been maintaining at my goal of 150...until recently, that is.

i have gone up to 161 pounds! i think it could be a mixture of the holidays and how i've been resting on my weight loss laurels for the past two years. i work out everyday and i am trying to hard to eat correctly again.

the holidays have caught up with me!

Like always I have gained weight at christmas - I am 7 pounds up overall 4 of it from Xmas. I am anxious that the last of the egg nog and sweets are gone. I got ESA for Xmas and I hope that a change of workout will really motivate me to lose it all and then a few more. I have yet to actually ind the weight that is good for me. I have been maintaining at 118 for about 1.5 yrs. That weight is ok but I would like a couple more inches off my hips.

Here's hoping that I can build on a good 1st day back at it. Wish me luck!

Like everything else OLDMOM, we will take this one day at a time.

21 is a great BMI. WTG on 10 months of maintaining! WooHoo!!

Old Mom,
Great to have you on this team. I am right there with you when it comes to maintenance. It is scary. I have been within range for the last two years, following a point when I had gained around ten pounds extra. I lost that and then went below where it was probably best for me. It is hard for me to find where I should be. I am within range, but that old mindset says I should continue to lose. I began this to be healthy, and that is how I am attempting to refocus my thinking.
Best wishes as you continue your journey to health,