HEATHERBARBER

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I am nearly thirty-four years old and feel it is time to get healthy and stay healthy for life! I know the time is NOW and I need some motivation and support to get me going in the right direction.
I have been turning to food as a means of comfort and I know that this is leading to a variety of problems. I want to get healthy now before I feel like it is too late to do something about it.

Sunday, June 26, 2011
I have used Sparkpeople in the past to count my calories and admittedly, it is a very useful tool. I never really took advantage of everything else that the site had to offer though-this time, I plan to do so.

I will start with my weight journey:
I grew up being physically active and eating healthful foods, that combined with a high metabolism, and I was in good shape!
I went to my first year of college and came home a year later about 25 pounds heavier. During this time, I definitely turned to food for comfort and that was the start of emotional eating for me. I spent the next couple of years on the heavy side and I was getting very sick and tired of feeling fat and uncomfortable in my skin. My mom introduced to a book called the 'Weighdown Workshop' by Gwen Shamblin (sp?). The premise of the book is that God created you, He created food and indeed food is to be enjoyed, just not abused. With the theory in mind to eat to live and not live to eat-I lost 30 pounds that just seemed to melt away! It was amazing and I felt wonderful with the weight gone.
Just a short time later though, I became pregnant with my first son and my weight topped off at 181. After he was born, I was able to get down to about 145 in a decent period of time. Nursing helped to burn away the fat too.
Over the next couple of years my weight went back and forth in range from the 140's to the 160's. Again, this weight gain was attributed to emotional eating.
I joined Weight Watchers in 2003 and I learned what portion control meant and counting calories and was able to loose about 17 pounds and felt better around 145. Soon after though, I became pregnant with baby #2, and weighed about 175 at the end of my pregnancy with her. Again, nursing for an extended period of time definitely helped to bring off the weight, not to mention the fact that I could eat anything while nursing and the weight stayed off. Because I could eat anything while I nursed, this made my emotional eating extreme.
One more pregnancy and however many years later, I have found myself in the same pattern of weight gain and weight loss and eating during every and any kind of emotion. That brings me to today.
Let's see...how would I describe myself today?? I am at a point in my life where I am sick and tired of abusing my body. I have just kicked a couple of addictions that I have been battling off and on for the last nearly 20 years. I am at a point in my walk with God where I want to rid myself of everything and anything that is not bringing HIM glory. I am ready to face this food battle once and for all.
I want to live the second part of my life being the healthiest I can be--spirit, mind and body, and live life to the fullest!

Okay, so how is Sparkpeople going to help me?! Well I am a person who likes to feel support from friends and family. Obviously the Sparkpeople community is huge and I should not have any problems finding support. I appreciate the fact that this site has a host of other tools to offer. The nutritional tracker, awards, articles, recipes and so on is just what I need for an all around solid support system. Now, I need to USE it!

I do have a decent knowledge of food. I know how to eat whole, clean foods, so this is to my advantage. The key here, is PORTION CONTROL. One thing that I have never done on a consistent basis is exercise. I definitely will need some help and direction in this area. I do know that working out will be a key component in my losing weight and staying healthy. I need to make this a part of my life and learn to really enjoy and look forward to being physically active.

So, yesterday I took the challenge to simply record my calories. Not necessarily to stay within range, just record. Well, I did. I am embarrassed to say that I consumed 3,500+ calories. I will admit that here I am, in the midst of some major 'emotional' times right now. Obviously, I did what I have been doing and I am turning to food. I can only imagine how much weight I will continue to gain if I keep heading in this direction. Well, that is just it--I can't! I can not keep eating like this. I feel horrible, I look horrible and I am DONE!

One of my problems is that I am a person who can have all this passion to do something. I can envision all these things that I want to do in my mind and I can see it happening. But then, it just goes away. It is gone, just like that. I don't know if I talk myself out of it or what the deal is. I have got to figure out a way to commit to something and follow through.

I am going to have to take this emotional eating roller coaster and focus my efforts elsewhere. #1-to God. His Word says that I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. His Word also says that I am strong in HIM and in the power of HIS might!
#2-Reach out for support through this site. There are many people who have 'been there and done that' and I can gain wisdom and insight through their efforts and endeavors. #3-Go to something that is healthy for me-like exercise-instead of food!

So today, I am going to try and stay in my nutritional/caloric goals. I woke up this morning with a horrible belly ache--I am assuming from all the junk I ate yesterday. I did have my gallbladder removed a couple of years ago. It is important that I not consume too much fat and to keep my portions small. I can tell that my body has not been appreciating the way and quantity of food that I have been consuming--one more reason to eat to live.

So, this is where I am coming from right now. I understand that I need to take things one day at a time. I recognize that I am going to have good and bad days. And that just because a bad day comes, it doesn't mean to give up. I want to see this as the beginning of a happier, healthier me!


Member Since: 6/23/2011

Fitness Minutes: 603

My Goals:
-Stay within my nutritional/caloric goals
-Drink 8 cups of water/ day
-Don't eat in front of the TV or computer
-Excercise for 10 min. /day


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Comments
  • v LUCYLU22
    Heather, thanks for stopping by my page. I have been doing pretty well with the running. I have been trying to run at least every other day (at least 3 times a week), with rest days or cross-train days in between. Somedays I run for the whole 3.1 miles, other days I run on a highschool track near me, and then I only run about 2 miles, but I was trying to increase speed by doing that. I like to switch things up. Eventually, I would like to get a treadmill as well, so I have that option when weather is not permitting me to be outside. Great job on accomplishing Day 2!! Keep up the great work, it is a great feeling to check off Day by Day!! That was truly my favorite part, knowing that I did it!! YOU CAN DO IT!!

    Spark also has some great articles for runners in concerns to stretching well, and other things that are important. I needed to check some out because of some hip/SI joint pain, it was a great help to make sure I was doing the right stretches etc. Best wishes to you to accomplish your own running goals!!!

    emoticon emoticon
    3598 days ago
  • v ERIN1957
    Heather thank you for the invite! I did add you back :-)
    I am not here much during the summer but will be back faithfully come fall.
    I will of course need SP to get back on track after all the summer fun and feasting. Shame on me, but I just needed a break and time with our family we only see these months of summer in Minnesota.
    I see also that you too are a Christian...woohoo always wonderful to meet and welcome help and enjoyment through our Lord!
    My best to you!
    In Him,
    Erin
    3603 days ago
  • v LUCYLU22
    Thanks Heather, for congratulating me on running. I actually did the 5K your way 8-week Rookie Running program. It was work, but I CAN say, I did it!! That feels great.
    3604 days ago
  • v WILDFIREKRISTIN
    HI Heather,

    Dropping in to see how you are today? Everything going well? I hope that you are. Thanks for dropping me back a reply. I am here girl, we all are!

    Have a super lovely day,

    Kristin emoticon
    3607 days ago
  • v WILDFIREKRISTIN
    Hello Heather,

    I saw your blog and I wondered why I hadn't heard back from you and now I think I may know why. I sure hope that you are feeling better tonight and that we can get back in touch. Did I send you my email address? wildfirekristin@gmail.com This way I am much more available to you if you need me to be. Also, if you need to chat on the phone I will drop you my number. I am sorry that I let you down this weekend and for goodness sake I am going to do my best not to do that this weekend.

    Hugs,

    Kristin emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3608 days ago
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