Fear, I hate being afraid of things. There are some days I just take a deep breath and say, COME ON JUNE, YOU CAN DO IT. Then there are other days I have to PLEAD with myself to do things. I am the type of person that usually will do it even if I'm afraid (that is excluding high risk sports like sky diving, bungee jumping or anything like that), I'm talking about every day things, even driving on the highway on some days.
I try to hold on to how I feel after I've accomplished things. This morning I went to work out at Curves (since I took this whole week off from work) and they had their Zumba circuit, at first I was just going to go home and come back because I thought the Zumba workout would be too much for me and I didn't want to look stupid, but then I said, WHAT THE HELL? Just do it. I am so glad I did, it was a little hard at times, but no one laughed at me and it was fun.
I'm supposed to sing tomorrow night and kept thinking of excuses to get out of it. I sing all the time but for some reason, have been having a lot of apprehension about singing on stage at Tula's. It's a very small, cute venue and I've done it before. Even when my mouth went completely dry, I still managed to do it last time (this year I bought some spray that is supposed to help with dry mouth). Anyway, I got through it and it went great. This year I'm even better than I was because I've been working on jazz a lot and still am not hanging on to the Opera sound anymore. So it's going to be pretty decent.
Just taking chances is ALL a part of life. How many things have I passed up because I was too scared to do it? I'm not going to be on my death bed and say, Oh, I wish I would have done this or that (still NO SKY DIVING, I WON'T be saying that). Life is way too short not to explore things and have fun. I guess that's why I love ghost hunting, belly dance lessons, drumming lessons, guitar lessons, singing in Operas, Jazz lessons, drama classes, etc, etc, etc. I just want to do more and feel like I'm experiencing everything life has to offer. So, I know I'm still over 300 pounds. Does that mean I'm going to let life pass me by until I'm around 200 pounds? I don't think so.
Anyway, for today I am going to do something that scares me. Even if it's trying a new vegetable or fruit. Just to try something different, who know? I may love it and want to try it again and again. I plan to go back to Curves with Zumba on Friday morning. Wooooo-HOOOOOO!!!