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Okay, I finally bit the bullet

Monday, June 03, 2013

Well, I've been biting everything else, so I finally subscribed to an internet service. I have been relying on the free wi-fi in my building and it has become almost non-existent. That is why I haven't been Sparking lately, or it is the main reason. I'm glad to be back.
My first year of Spark has come to an end. It went great at first. I lost 40 lbs and arrived in Onederland in September. By November I had lost 51 lbs to hit 189. I felt great. I was starting to look good. I had a lot of clothes that I pulled out of storage could wear comfortably. I was getting a lot of compliments. I had joined a gym and was going pretty regularly.
Then things started going wrong. I had a friend who liked to eat out but didn't want to eat alone. At first I went out with him occasionally, which didn't hurt my weight loss, but then it got to be more frequent. Then the holiday parties, the gifts of chocolates, then the purchase of chocolates. I began to go out with other people for lunches and dinners, then I went out by myself. Now I hardly ever ate on my plan. It was easier to eat sandwiches or go out.
At first it wasn't noticeable. But then I began to see bigger bulges, especially in the midriff. I viewed them with alarm, but no change in habits. The scale was going up, but I didn't look at it very often, the news I could see in my body was even more alarming.
Now I'm viewing those bulges with horror. This morning I saw that I had put 40 lbs. back on. I have almost nothing to wear. I'm breathing hard if I walk very far. I have no energy and don't want to go anywhere. I'm not totally hibernating, but I have no ambition and no desire to do anything. I'm in a lot of mild to moderate pain, even when I'm sitting.
Today, I have drawn a line in the sand. I'm headed back to Onederland and beyond. I realize I'm not a helpless victim. I was willfully putting that food in my mouth. It was ME buying it at the store or the restaurant, and ME gobbling it down and looking for more. This is MY responsibility. I am not pitiful, I am powerful. And I'm going to beat this thing. I am woman, hear me roar!
Thanks to all of you who have continued to support and encourage me while I have been without internet. I started to name names, but you know I'd forget someone and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. You know who you are. I love you all.
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I'm Sparking again!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This is the first day of the rest of your life.
    2980 days ago
  • JILL313
    Hi Janet, It's great having you back as you were missed. I know you've learned a hard lesson as for the rest of our lives we do have to eat well but healthier and lighter than we do now. . .getting even 10 minutes of exercise a day will also help you move forward. I have complete Faith in you and I know you'll soon be in Onderland again. I'm here rooting you on and I hope to be there myself towards the end of the year. We both have to be consistent with only occasional treats and pre-planning our meals. I love to eat out but know it's more expensive and usually I eat more calories when I eat out. I'm working on me and you're working on you so we have a lot in common as we're both still a wonderful work in progress on this new Lifestyle Journey. Take good care and God Bless.


    Jill emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2981 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/5/2013 12:16:03 AM
    Sounds like you walked a path so many of us have walked too - YOU are here BEFORE you regained ALL the weight you lost and you have not QUIT - all you have to do now is make the changes and figure out how to make those meals with friends fit into a reasonable plan. There are tricks to eating out AND staying on track - checking menus out in advance, eating a little less for some days before you go out, drink water, coffee, or tea, before you start eating, put HALF your meal in a to-go box, share an entree with someone else, etc. Just some thoughts to keep you moving FORWARD.
    2982 days ago
    emoticon You did it before, now do it again!

    Make lifestyle changes, so you don't backslide!

    2982 days ago
    Welcome back. Remember how great it was to wear your smaller clothes and not have to breathe hard. Chris emoticon emoticon
    2982 days ago
    yay! you!
    2982 days ago
    So glad you're back again. Even happier that you're ready to get back on track again. I know it tough, I know it's easy to get distracted along the way, I know from experience. You've done it before and you can do it again. One day at a time.
    2982 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1315172
    2982 days ago
    I am glad you got your Internet worked out and are back! Good for you for taking the bull by the horns! You got this!
    2982 days ago
    Mom, I am so glad you are back! I have had the same issues well without the friend eating out thingy. lol I have been doing all my eating at home. Vic and I both have been struggling and instead of us working together to get back on track, we have been enabling each other to eat crappy food! No bueno!!! It is time to get moving in the right direction and I am so glad that I read your blog today. I needed that. emoticon MOM!!!! I know we can!

    Love you!!! emoticon
    2982 days ago
    I am hearing you ROAR and I know that you can and will do it! I am wishing you the very best of luck and a lot of prayers! Love you, Janet! (hugs) Noel
    2982 days ago
    Good job getting back on track! Just take it one meal at a time and soon you'll be back to feeling and looking great! Have a wonderful and healthy week! And it's good to see you back Sparking with us! Hugs!
    2983 days ago
    I think we all have set backs and it's what we do with the knowledge that comes from them that counts! You are ready to move forward and you can take all that you've learned with you right back to Onederland! emoticon emoticon
    2983 days ago
  • CJMOK1121
    Janet: Thank you for sharing, its so easy to get caught up in that cycle of going out to eat or eating whats easy and the lbs can sneak back so quickly. But as Jeanie said we can do this together. I did the same thing I had lost about 45 lbs and then I just went back to old habits and gained about 30 of it back, I have been doing better for a while now and trying to get my A1C back in the 6.0 range instead of 8.2 which is what it was in April when they last took it. I just really don't want to have to start using shots to control it, when all it takes is eating healthy. So glad your back and I will work together with you to get healthy.

    Hugs, CJ from OK.
    2983 days ago
    We have no control over the past, but a great deal over the future. So you are in a good place.
    2983 days ago
    Oh, Janet...I so hear what you're saying!! Good for you for getting back in the swing of things and moving forward again to better health and everything related to it!! Let's do it, Friend!!! We both want to do it and know how, so away we go!! Love, Jeannie
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    2983 days ago
  • MISSB8604
    You're not alone in this, your SparkFriends are here. Work hard and those pounds WILL come off.
    2983 days ago
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