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" I don't love you as a spouse anymore..."

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Two weeks ago those words cut me like knife, sent me into a tailspin....I think somedays I am still in shock. After 35 years of marriage he doesn't love me anymore. Really I didn't see it coming. Yes communication had dropped off drastically, yes sex life had become non existent but he had been going through a health crisis and it was scary for both of us. We finally got negative test results after weeks of waiting. Clean bill of health for him. He says he has a new lease on life, that he is worn out and tired of all the "stuff" we have been through with the kids and life in general. No he doesn't have any one else he is interested in. He just wants to pursue work and hobbies because he probably doesn't have much time to live and he wants to make the most of life without me. His attorney and mine both agree that I will get a hefty amount of spousal support and half of his assests. People say it will be fine. ...that it is time to move on. People say get a good lawyer and make him pay. My family has always wanted me to move back and be closer to them.

I still love him. I don't want a divorce. I am forcing myself somedays to crawl out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. This not a tragedy....it could be worse.....I need to count my blessings....
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