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when you label a person

Friday, September 16, 2016

A few weeks ago I posted a blog while I was still in shock after the news that my husband of 35 years didn't love me anymore and was divorcing me. The support I got from the SparkPeople community was uplifting and so appreciated. Thanks to all of you for your caring words.

I have been a preschool teacher for over 30 years. I have seen first hand what happens when a child is "labeled" with a suspected diagnosis or an actual medical diagnosis. Ever been labelled? Ever labelled someone yourself? Everyone’s done both, sometimes it’s benign, sometimes it’s a good thing and sometimes it’s a bad thing. It starts from an early age and continues through life – he’s a jock, he’s conscientious, she’s a troublemaker. Assigning labels to things seems to be part of how our brain makes sense of the world. But what happens to a person when you give them a particular label?


In my lifetime I have been labelled as clinically depressed. Yes a medical diagnosis but for many years I let it define me.While I sought out counseling and tried different medications (as well as many lifestyle changes) he became silently resentful because I was so "self absorbed". Recently it was suggested by a medical professional that I could be asexual. As I struggled to find a reason /solution for problems occurring in my marriage these labels became an issue for my soon to be ex husband. He couldn't get past them....they would forever define me to him.

I realize that it is his problem.....I was a good wife and mother for 35 years. I will move on and continue to grow and heal and prosper.

I will however be more aware of how labels affect the person who has been labelled and those who react to those labels.

Thanks again SparkPeople for a safe place to vent and a great place to find support and wisdom as I start a new journey.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD2704340
    You've got a great attitude!
    1704 days ago
    That what the SP friends are all about, we want to help support you. Right now stay focus on YOU, take care.
    1704 days ago
    Stay focused and positive.You know you were a good mom and wife that's all that counts
    1704 days ago
    I am so sorry that this happened to you. I am also glad that Spark has been a place of solace for you. Wishing you all the best as you move forward.
    1704 days ago
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