...Second verse, same as the first!
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Holy cow. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???? I did an elimination diet over the summer, lost 12lbs, then promptly resorted back to bad habits and guess what, I'm back up to 186.8. So that 12lbs I lost was all for nothing. Stupid. Why is it so hard to stay the course?
Today is Day 2 of keto. I need to just get outside of my head and do what I need to do, because the difference 12 lbs makes is significant. +12 I feel bloated, lethargic, decreased energy, mentally just like GARBAGE. Unworthy. Unlovable. Unattractive. Unhealthy. Our family went to a water park over the weekend, and one ride weighs you at the top: Two people using the smaller raft can't be over 400lbs together. Hubby is tall and all muscle, weighing in at 220. Yeah...I knew we would be close but hoped I hadn't gained back all I'd lost, so thought we'd sneak in just under the wire. No such luck. And that was my wakeup call that this needs to end (yet again.)
I logged for sooooo many years on Spark, and when I hit my goal weight, I was ecstatic to finally have freedom from tracking EVERY LITTLE CALORIE. I hate it, I really do. But for me, it works, so I need to just wrap my head around having to do it, and DO IT. I'm committing to logging and doing keto for 30 days. There will be a reward at the end. Not sure what yet, but maybe a massage.
Anywho. Here we go. Again.