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Two weeks in

Thursday, October 13, 2016

I hate this journey. I hate thinking about my weight 24/7. I hate feeling like i'm forever attempting to reach (re-reach) and maintain. I hate having to think about every little thing I eat. I hate the extensive planning it takes to eat healthy. I hate that my grocery bill has climbed up (holy mackerel, meat prices have SOARED here). Sigh.

Diet-wise, keto seems to be working out OK. I'm just literally not hungry these past 2 weeks, even going through the fun cycle of female hormones. I don't find I'm longing for anything. Made chocolate chip cookies last night for a team sleepover my daughter is having this weekend, and didn't even feel like eating one. Eating dairy, and I think specifically higher fat on keto, means I don't feel deprived like I did on the last elimination diet I did (where I did feel that cutting out dairy made me FEEL better; no stomach aches, clear skin, and I dropped 10lbs in one month) so sticking to it should be easier. The site that I use for keto support recommends 20g of carbs or less, but I've set my goal at 30-40g (with 50g or less being traditionally considered low-carb) and have been within range every day. Weight-wise, i've only lost 3.4lbs in 2 weeks. The "strict" keto-ers report losses of 10-12lbs the first two weeks, but I'm certain many of them weren't used to drinking water all the time like I do, and probably were eating a LOT of carbs daily, whereas I really wasn't.

Anywho. I guess it's a start. Just feeling rather blah today about the whole long journey. I guess it's good that I'm still here, and caring, and trying all these years after joining Spark in 2008, but man I'd just like to be one of those people who has a great metabolism (my husband, my best friend, my oldest daughter) and can eat whatever whenever and not gain. I could kick myself for gaining back 40lbs since 2012. There's only so much comfort in "well, hey, at least I'm not back to the starting weight."

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ISABELLE84
    Ahhh! The motivation comes and goes. We are so used to having immediate rewards for our effort. We don't see the long term consequences of our actions.
    Your focus will change once you have truly absorbed your new way of life.
    Don't give up, Sparkpeople is a strong community, we can help you!
    Keep sparking!
    1707 days ago
  • _RAMONA
    Hang in there! I occasionally feel like I'd rather be fat for the rest of my life than spend yet another day working at this, but those moments are really fleeting, and the moments where I feel like myself again are growing and carrying me forward.

    I have noticed that while keto is easier than anything else I've tried, It isn't as easy for women with hormonal imbalances as it is for other people. Keep tweaking, find your sweet spot and ride it to goal weight. I also find having support helps immensely. Come and join us on the Paleo team... many of us are currently keto-paleo and having great success!
    1708 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/13/2016 6:44:47 PM
  • SHEL_V2
    Great blog, my story is similar. I lost weight the first go round with low fat and tracking, tracking, tracking. Also the 24/7 thinking about what I ate and my weight, and using the trackers became a big time suck and a fairy tale - like somehow the right numbers in the tracker would somehow do all the work. This all has to become just what we do.
    1708 days ago
  • KFQUILTER
    Focused is not a bad thing. It will get better.
    1708 days ago
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    You are doing well. Keep it up and you will be rewarded.
    1708 days ago
  • JOHNMARTINMILES
    Keep on keeping on!

    Make today the greatest day of your lifeā€¦
    emoticon Until tomorrow!

    1708 days ago
  • NEEDBU66
    I also feel like throwing in the towel at times. It just takes so little to add the pounds on, and it's so hard to get them back off again, I feel I have to be diligent to avoid that happening myself. "A minute on my lips...."
    1708 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.