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I haven't given up

Thursday, April 25, 2019

April has been tough for me. Yes, partly because of Easter, but partly mentally as well. Today, I am exactly where I was on the first, which is WICKED AWESOME. And I am (as well I should be) happy with that. I have baked, eaten Easter candy (thank you for the peanut butter eggs :)). And I will be honest. I have been up 2 pounds during this month. Oh No!! Say it isn't so!!

BUT, I think it's different this time. I am what you might say a professional dieter. I go on a diet, I lose some weight, I hit a rough patch, and BAM!! All done. But this time it feels different. I did hit a rough patch this month. One I wasn't planning on, and I could have given up. I might (NOT) have given up. But I said (to myself), I will get past this. Now get your butt downstairs and get on that elliptical!

I knew November and December were going to be a relaxed time for me and my new way of eating. I never gave up the elliptical, and I have (sort of) started with some weights. But I had cut myself some slack. I was not going to be disappointed when 1/1/19 rolled around and I weighed what I weighed the day before Thanksgiving (and I did, but then kicked butt in January). I knew it, and I was ok with it, I had PLANNED for it. April came as a bit of a shock.

You know, though, I look back over the last 16 months, and my monthly totals and last year I did go a couple of different months with gains, and I wasn't ready to throw in the towel then, and I am NOT READY to throw in the towel now. It's a bump. It's a left when I should have gone right. I won't beat myself up over this. it's going to be fine, and May is but days away.

For me (at least) every day is a fresh start. The ability to say, I can't do this lifestyle anymore would be crazy!!!! I'm going to move toward the next goal. I'm more than 1/2 way to goal. (90 pounds), and I am thrilled with that. When I look back over the last year +, I am so proud of how far I have come. I am NEVER going to give up peanut butter eggs (oh my), nor should I have to. This is my life. I eat. I eat what I like (pizza, wine, peanut butter, pasta), now I just don't eat it all at the same time on the same day, for many days in a row.

I know I need to continue to look forward, not back. I know that I will have days (or months) like April, and you know what, I need to be ok with that too. I'm 58 years young. I love how I feel in my skin now, and I know that will only improve with time.

As I read somewhere, I AM ENOUGH. I will pull on my big girl panties, and move on to the next day. I'm not planning on giving up, and if someone comes and reads this... YOU ARE NOT GIVING UP EITHER. YOU ARE ENOUGH. We can do this. Don't stress over the extra piece of cheese you put on your sandwich, or that your fat for the day is .07% higher than it should be. You have this, I HAVE THIS...

Thanks for stopping, have an amazing day. Be kind to yourself!

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