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communication and weight loss

Saturday, March 06, 2021

I have been thinking about this lately.

A lot of my weight gain and my bingeing was about not feeling free to articulate my feelings.
After many decades, the feelings I covered so well in calories were not even feelings I could name. I just knew I felt bad. Couldn't distinguish if the "bad" was anger? Was it sadness? Was it regret? Anxiety? I didn't know. It was all just a jumble, buried under bags-worth of jellybeans and boxes of Ring Dings.

And then.... I release the weight. The feelings come up like a helium balloon from my spirit. But this is not at all welcome! This is the opposite of welcome! This was THE REASON for the weight, this was THE REASON for the bingeing. But in order to keep the weight off, in order to keep better health in check... guess what? You have to feel your feelings.

My first stumbling block was to think that there were "bad" feelings and there were "good" feelings. That is not true. Not all feelings FEEL good... but all feelings are good. All feelings have great value.

Getting those feelings out is another struggle until you get it right. I still have not mastered that, LOL. Figuring out what you're feeling takes time. You may want to call it angry... my husband calls everything "angry" but what is underneath that anger? Are you scared? Are you feeling powerless? THAT is the stuff that needs to get out, and needs to get settled. And if it can't be settled, THAT is what you need to make your peace with.

I had an off day yesterday. Not sure why, and it doesn't even matter. All I know is that for the first time, I just accepted it. I'm not going to feel my best or be my best every single day. And the days where I am not my best, all I need to do is treat myself with great gentleness AND not take it out on anyone else. And I did that. And I feel better today.

Emotions are tricky, and scary, yet not expressing them is not what gives you peace. Having the courage TO express them and accept however they are accepted... because our feelings will not always be accepted or appreciated but they are still our feelings.... that puts us on the long (hopefully!) and winding road to our very best life.

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