This woman went to hear Patrick Buchanan give his stump speech. She though it was okay but would have been better in the original German.
We always knew you could get AIDS from sex, and now President Clinton has shown us you can get sex fr... Read more
Bill Clinton liked Monica Lewinsky's dress from the first time he spotted it.
Did you hear that Louise Woodward will shortly be taking over as manager of the Spice Girls?
The first thing she intends to do is drop Baby Spice.
Tomorrow... Read more
A man gets to make a wish, and he wishes he could wake up in bed with three women. When he wakes up, there are Lorena Bobbit, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton. And his penis is gone, his leg is broken, and he has no health insurance.
So... Read more
God decides it's time to have the world end. He calls in Bill Clinton, Boris Yelsin, and Bill Gates. He tells them that the world is going to end in seven days. So Clinton goes to the American people, and Yelsin goes to the Russian people, an... Read more
A little boy and a little girl were talking on the playground, and the little boy said, "My daddy's an accountant. What does your daddy do for a living?"
She said, "My daddy's Bill Gates."
"No, I didn't say that."
Hope you'... Read more
Bill Gates built a new house for himself and it's great, except that sometimes when you flush the toilet it won't stop. When that happens you need to exit the house, walk around the block, re-enter the house, and usually it's better.
Older... Read more
What's the difference between God and Bill Gates?
God doesn't think he's Bill Gates.
After Bill Gates and his wife returned from their honeymoon, she said to him, "Now I know why you named it Microsoft!"
I did up the exercise a littl... Read more
If you see Bill Gates on a bicycle, should you swerve to hit him?
No. It might be your bicycle.
Why should Bill Gates be buried 100 feet deep?
Because deep down, he's a really good man.
Bad news this morning as gained about one an... Read more
You know why Bill Clinton is so reluctant to deal with this young Cuban boy in Miami?
It's because the last time he decided where to put a Cuban he was impeached.
The Pope met with President Clinton. The good news was that they agreed on... Read more
Did you hear that after she broke her leg, Picabo Street, the Olympic skier, donated money for a very special hospital wing?
It's going to be called the Picabo ICU.
"Run Hillary Run!" bumper stickers are selling like hotcakes in New York.... Read more
Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bill Clinton went to the Emerald City to see the Wizard of Oz. And Dan Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the wizard for a brain."
And Newt Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask him for a heart."
And Clinton says, "I w... Read more
Why did Monica Lewinsky have sex with the president in the Oval Office?
Because she didn't have $50,000 for the Lincoln Bedroom.
What do you call it when the Vice President plays the drums?
Son is doing fine and only too... Read more
President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approaching him. "What is it?" the President asks.
"It's the abortion bill, Mr. President. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks.
"Just... Read more
They had a Presidents' Day Sale at Macy's--all men's pants were half off
They took a poll of American women, and they asked, "Would you have an affair with Bill Clinton?"
Seventy percent said, "Never again!"
Son got his first shot to... Read more
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"Honey, would you like a BMW for your birthday?"
"No, I don't think so."
"How about a mink coat?"
"How about a diamond necklace?"
"No. I want a divorce."
"Oh. I wasn't planning on spending that much."
That was th... Read more